Just the other day I had a major flash back when I heard IMX’s First Time. Lawd let me tell you how it brought back memories of my first time.
I can remember it like it was yesterday when I had my first real crush. It was freshman year and we just moved from Raleigh down to Atlanta after my parents split. Now of course this was the worst thing to ever happen. Starting my high school career alone with people I have never met before in a completely different state. I stood about 5’2, 110 pounds, petite, 36 C. Just a “cutie with a little booty” as most have called me. But compared to some of the other “full figured” freshman I was the thinnest stick out of the bunch.
There was this upperclassman guy that I had the biggest crush on. Mind you, he was my first crush since B2K. Every time I saw him in the hallways he was always nice and spoke to me when exchanging to other classes. He just seemed like a really cool guy.
At that time it seemed like all of my friends were getting into relationships, losing their virginity and boasting about how grown up and woman-like they felt. They had gotten their first taste of the “wildlife” as my mom would say. And because everyone was enjoying the wildlife while I was chillin’ in the meadow, I was known as the “Last Virgin” in my circle of friends. And because I was young, dumb, and trying to become a “woman,” I was determined to find someone who could seal the deal.
Boy was I dumb. The only question that occupied my mind was, “am I really the last virgin?”
Fast forward a couple of weeks later and there was a big party that was being held at the Malibu. And being that I was one of the few freshmen invited I had to make sure to attend. The night came and the party was jam packed with people everywhere! More than I could handle. I started to get irritated and started walking out of the place when I bumped into him. His smile and his physique. I guess milk really does do the body good. He asked me to dance and we did. With his wandering hands and my curious mind something was bound to happen or so I thought. He took me up to this small room and we started making out. And between the making out, wandering hands, and curious minds, I began feeling a serious amount of guilt. I always thought my first time would be more.. you know.. enjoyable, memorable and all that jazz. So because of that, I didn’t let him seal any deals and for that I was called all kinds of b’s and was accused of wasting his time.
My mom always told me that as a woman you have to carry yourself as such and with that deeply rooted within me, I choose to leave those thoughts of ignorance behind and to take the higher road, even if that made me, The Last Virgin.
January 23, 2014
She should absolutely wait. I do think your first time should be beautiful and should feel right. It should be with someone who loves you. My story is a bit unconventional, but maybe I’ll articulate that at a later time. Glad you chose to take the high road and wait it out.
January 23, 2014
Same here girl. Sometimes I just feel like am missing out but I haven’t found a guy worth losing to but then am here thinking am really missing out :(
January 23, 2014
And the idea of doing for the first time, the awkwardness after and the PAIN just scares the shit out of me
January 24, 2014
Sounds a bit like me… I was the last of them all… in college
January 24, 2014
my. life.
January 24, 2014
As cliche as it sounds, waiting will be worth it.
January 24, 2014
My life. In my group of high school friends, I am the last Virgin. But all of my college friends (except one) are virgins. Having the support system here is what has helped me remain a virgin. You should wait, you’re worth so much, and deserve your first time to be special and guilt-free ;)
January 26, 2014
You should absolutely wait. Heartbreak after sleeping with someone hurts so much more than not. Not saying that that will be the case for you but I’ve chosen to save that precious gift for my husband. That way I will know for sure that my heart will be protected forever, and I can have as much as I want with no sudden cutoffs! LOL.
August 7, 2014
I’m 19, still a virgin, and completely fine with it…now. Before I went through a stage where I really just wanted to find someone special and make it happen. Now I realize that waiting is indeed essential and that when God brings me a husband it’ll happen the right way… for me.