“Where is your boyfriend?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t have a boyfriend…a beautiful, smart girl like yourself?”

That’s the reaction that I get now-a-days from friends, families, and co-workers. If they only knew that they made the situation worse when they asked about my significant other or about why I don’t have one.

Being that I’m turning 24 in three months and never have been in a relationship, I’m starting to feel an urge to find a companion. I was never raised to put boys first or in the words of Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche “aspire to marriage”. I was taught to put God and my education first. I went on to college and received my degree in Chemistry, and now work for a fragrance manufacturing company’s lab.

You would think by now I would be in love or at least have experienced it…but no. Of course I’ve “talked” to guys but nothing ever serious. I even joke around sometimes with my girlfriends saying “Maybe I’m not that attractive” but they laugh historically and say “Do you hear yourself? Hunny you’re gorgeous!” I don’t like to toot my own horn but they are right. So what’s the problem?

For the past year I’ve been longing for a relationship. Unlike most people out there I don’t want a boyfriend just to have one. I want the real thing, the whole nine yards, that will eventually lead to marriage one day (not that I’m in a rush or anything…trust me I’m not).

These thoughts led me to write a letter to my future friend and lover. So I poured myself a nice glass of wine, turned on my computer and poured out my thoughts as if I was going to hand it to the mail man the next day for express delivery.

To My Future Friend and Lover:

As I read the bible verse “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself….” I can’t help but feel guilty. See I think about you every now and then, and hopelessly thinking maybe today will be the day I meet you, or maybe tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. I know I shouldn’t be so anxious to meet you but the fact is I am.

I have come to a point where my singleness has left me restless, and constantly on my knees praying to God that he will send you to me.

The feeling of singleness has been affecting me lately in several ways. For one, I crave the feeling of someone wanting me in way that is pure and with good intentions, and not just another girl on his phone he’s “kicking” it with. I want my heart to have a premature ventricular contraction (in other words, skip a beat) every time I hear my John Legend ringtone. Or cracking a random smile at work while thinking about the funny conversation we had the night before. Unfortunately not one of these scenarios exists at the moment.

I can only imagine the anticipation Jacob felt knowing that he had to wait 7 years to marry Rachel, only to be misled and had to wait another 7 years making 14 years in total in order for the two to be together. Most of us would have walked away from the whole situation and said “Peace out! There are plenty fishes in the sea” and kept it moving. Instead, he knew no matter how long he had to wait, he was going to be greatly rewarded at the end. He knew that Rachel was worth the wait.

So I’m writing this letter to you in order for you to know just like Jacob, I am also waiting for you. I may not be as patient as he was but like him, I know you’re worth the wait. You’re worth the wait for our first date, you’re worth the wait for our first kiss, for our first argument, but most importantly for our first and last I do’s and not to mention our first time on our wedding night. You’re just simply worth the wait.

Sincerely
Anxiously Waiting

Rebecca
Pitched Entry

image source: Maria Borges