Being an introvert – at least for me–means constantly having to disprove people’s definition of what they think an introvert is. When I tell people, I’m often hit with the “You’re not an introvert. You’re so funny.” or “I think you’re wrong. You’re way to outspoken for that.”
Oftentimes the people who try to take away my introvert badge of honor are people I’ve known for years and have developed long-lasting relationships with, so of course I feel comfortable cracking jokes and being funny with them. And it’s true. I am humorous. I was even voted Class Clown senior year in high school. (Yeah!) But as I’ve gotten older, denying my true introvert ways just seems foolish.
To begin, an introvert is someone who loses energy by being around people and is then recharged when they’re alone. It doesn’t mean I’m shy, withdrawn or I lack confidence. I like to interpret it as, I don’t really like people that much and the less interaction I have with them the better.
Or to better illustrate my feelings. When I’m in a crowd of about four or more initially I’m like:
When I do interact with folks I prefer it to be quality one-on-one time. I would much rather have an intimate 20 or 30 minute conversation then see you every weekend at a party, bar or club. That kind of interaction seems so shallow and fleeting. Who wants that? I don’t.
Some find it hard to believe that a person who prefers to be alone can operate quite well in crowds. They have this idea that all introverts are socially awkward and rude, which is completely untrue. Am I the girl in the middle of the dance floor on Saturday night? No. I’m the girl at home turning up with rerun episodes of The Golden Girls or Falcon Crest. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to “survive” a night on the town.
Unlike extroverts, introverts don’t give away the awesomeness of their personalities up front. We’re suspect of everyone and use our discernment to filter out genuine people from the lames of the world. We have a keen sense of character. I can’t speak for all introverts, but I’ll keep you at a distance until I feel like warming up, which may take months But if you wait around or curious enough, you’ll realize I’m actually a pretty cool Jane.
Introverts are also flakers. Okay, maybe I’m just a flaker. While I love my home girls and treasure them beyond words, I cannot tell you how many times I have been elated, literally, joyous after learning brunch plans have been canceled.
I’m not too sure if this has anything to do with being an introvert, but I also can’t do group outings. I actually hate them to be honest. What started out as simply wanting to see the now digitally restored Lion King coming to theaters for a limited engagement has turned into a circus of coordinating different schedules. Once you here “Yo, are we making moves?” trust and believe you’re not going anywhere.
I know a lot of this might sound like, “Shenequa, how do you have any friends?” Or, are you confusing being selfish with being an introvert? And maybe I am. But the older I get the smaller my circle has become, and I’m okay with that.
But shh. Don’t go and tell anybody I’ve come out as an introvert. I don’t want fellow introverts reading this to come together and join hands, because after all, that’s not the introvert way.
Shenequa Golding is a music/lifestyle freelance writer based in New York City and has written for outlets including The Associated Press, VIBE, MSNBC.Com, HelloBeautiful.com and more. When she’s not writing her life way, she can be found praying in a corner, hoping she can afford to pay her student loans for the month. / Twitter / Instagram / Blog
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June 9, 2014
This is sooo me…LOL #TeamIntrovert