“Feminists work hard and make lots of money but they have no man and no life. That’s what a feminist is and that’s NOT what I want to be.” At least that’s what I thought.

I don’t completely believe that anymore. Sure, I still expect to make the same amount of money a man makes for the same job, but I don’t want to be equal to men. I do accept that being treated differently is not a disadvantage but merely one of the perks of being born with a vagina but I still want men to hold doors open for me, not swear in my presence, and stand up when I walk into a room. Likewise, I carry myself like a lady because that’s what I am. The problem is, for a very long time I had no soul. I did everything right, but my conversations lacked substance. I know how to cook, clean, make a bed and rear a child but I had no soul. I haven’t been in a relationship in 5 years and I haven’t had sex for longer. I think my kind of woman is out of style. And maybe that isn’t a bad thing. My kind of woman is missing something. I am missing something. For most of my life, I’ve done the right thing, said the right thing and been the right person at the right time. But when I am dead and gone, what will I leave behind? I have dreams and wishes and goals outside of a man, a relationship and babies. I want to become a screenwriter. I have written so many scripts and stories, I can’t remember the names. I have won contests in school for my short stories and even helped co-write school plays. I’ve always used writing as my creative outlet, until it started to work against me. I was told by my friends, ‘you’re never going to find a man with your head in those books’. So I slacked off. Then college came and I decided being a starving artist probably wasn’t the way to go. So I put my writing away for a while and because I was interested in what feminism is all about, I decided to take a Women’s Studies course, taking note of how sexist it is to have a Women’s Studies and not a Men’s studies. My professor told me that everything is Men’s Studies. “Everything you’ve ever learned up to this point,” she said, “had been written, created and discovered by a man. If you have something to say, say it. If you want to do something, do it. And if you are afraid to do either, say that. But don’t miss out on life and blame someone else. It’s not a crime to be afraid of your talents. But it is a crime to sit back and watch them to go to waste.”

These are words that changed my life.

It will take a lot of work and sacrifice but my script will be read. These stories will become novels. My dreams will become reality. This is what feminism has taught me. It isn’t just about natural hair, holistic soaps and hating men. That isn’t what feminism is about at all. Its about equality and fairness and the empowering of women; the concept that women don’t need anyone to give them meaning and purpose. It’s the idea that whatever psychotic, insane, unrealistic, unattainable, crazy dream a woman has she has the right, no, the responsibility to see that dream into fruition.

So sure, a man can hold the door for me, give up his seat for me, stand up in my presence and not swear around me not only because I am a woman, but not only because I am a woman but because I am a woman with a soul, a mind, many talents and a purpose.

Kyira
Pitched Entry

image credit: Barbara Palvin