As far as our ex’s go, when it’s over, it’s over.. Or is it? Unless a large amount of effort is put into make things work the second time around (ie: ample time spent away from one another, personal reflections on what and how to change for the better, etc.), reconciling ideally with your ex-partner is hardly plausible. You may get back to where you two WERE, but isn’t where you two were the same place that brought you both to where you are NOW?
is one thing. It’s easy to lie to ourselves in times of hurt and get back together in hopes of avoiding that down-time of self-realization, actualization, and pain. But to break-up to “make-up” is a whole other thing. To make ourselves over in order to be a better person is a challenge that, in the end, is truly rewarding to both parties involved. Not to mention, if we lie to ourselves about the severity of our situation for the sake of a quick reconcile (or as I call it, a “speedy peace-treaty”), then we risk lying to the ones we love by misleading them and toying with their emotions. And that’s never a good look for either one of you.
participating in the “ex-games”, but reality is, most of us will find ourselves being a participant in the sport at least once in our lives. So how can you win? Easy. Time. Time heals all. Time A P A R T to measure just how much you truly need that other person. Time ALONE to learn more about yourself.
never fun, but that doesn’t mean being alone doesn’t have to be! In the least, being alone following a break-up can be very necessary. Going from one relationship to another in an attempt to find yourself is the surest way to lose yourself and QUICK. When I was dealing with my first break-up as a young adult a few years ago, in order to cope with being alone I had to remind myself how alone I was even when I actually had that someone. And nothing is worse than anticipating your loved one’s support only to realize their lackluster reactions to your issues and concerns. At least when you have yourself to rely on, you have no surprises. During this time, I was able to learn how to keep myself together, by myself. I don’t regret the experience because holding myself up during hard times taught me how to hold it down for my next relationship. I strengthened my skills in being attentive and sympathetic, and I was able to help give advice and boost the moral of the one I was with next.
to both of you that you still want to work it out and give it another shot, that’s cool too. Personally, I’m as much of a romantic as I am a realist, so I love, LOVE. Just make sure the two of you ensure both your own and each other’s feelings by not forgetting everything acquired while you guys were apart. If you find out that you were the only one who has changed for the better, reevaluate the risks with giving things another go. After all, it would be a shame to throw your experience during the break-up out the window and let all that pain go in vain.

SOJO