My Response To Your Post, “Why I Won’t Apologize For Being Bougie”
A Response to one of our popular posts “Why I Won’t Apologize For Being Bougie”:
“Growing up Bougie (Bourgeoisie)” was tied to a Marxist Theory and modernizing the nerd in me learned that first. But for most people these days (which I learned later) it’s all about feeling like you have to be a certain way to be black. I grew up in what was deemed the rough area of DC. Yet my mom she wasn’t the loud hood mom, she didn’t do things that I saw my other friends moms do; I had chores, allowance, she was liberal, and soft-spoken. She disciplined me but only at home, she exposed me to a lot of culture at an early age because it was how she was raised. She came from two educated parents but was still a teen mom. Now that I’ve grown up I think I understand why my mom, who is the baby, might have been a little neglected in that area, which is another story.
My point is this, my mom might have been a teen mom, but she still had some values. She put me in all sorts of free programs. She had me in girl scouts, science camp, summer camp, Saturday academy, ballet, gymnastics, all of that stuff. It got to the point where I had to cut down my programs and figure out what I wanted to focus on. As I grew older a lot of those things I learned from teachers, and being around my grandparents made me a little more mature than kids my age. I was deemed a know it all, Bougie, White girl…I got teased for saying “dudes” one time. As I got older I started to see that those people where holding on to an outdated view of what it meant to be black in America. Education, knowledge, adapting to change was something to be frowned on and if you weren’t acting “crazy” or “hood” that you were bougie. I learned that early on and still held on to my values. I always observed, and that was taken to another level because I didn’t like to get in trouble, or take a ton of risk that would jeopardize the liberal freedom my mother gave me. I will never apologize for speaking the way that I do, or knowing the things I know, or behaving the way that I do. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be black. It had everything to do with not being a stereotype, and embracing the way that I was raised. When folks can move past thinking you have to be a certain way to be considered black then we might make some advancements. I’ve been seeing a lot of things revolving around the carefree black woman and I love it because it seems like people are finally embracing that not all women of color have to dress a certain way or act a certain way because of our skin color.
Image Credit: Grillz by Christian Ferretti for Interview April 2013
April 10, 2014
Ha, thanks for this. I stand by everything the original article stands for.
April 10, 2014
Agreed!
April 11, 2014
Sound very similar to my life growing up. Quick story.
My older female cousin and I grew up together but our parents raised us differently. I was cultured, given freedom but with limits and educated beyond the classroom. On the other hand she was given all the freedom and not as cultured. One day in 8th grade while she was into guys, I wasn’t because my parents always said I was too young. So she made me talk to a guy on the phone, after awhile, put him on mute to tell me “why are you talking like that, talk ghetto guys don’t like the way YOU talk” I gave her a puzzled look. Long story short I handed her back the phone. At that young age I felt her comment was unnecessary and ignorant. “Talk ghetto” aka dumb myself down? No thanks.