Self-doubt will kill your dreams before anyone else has the chance to. It will demolish, immobilize, and deter you from whatever you thought you wanted to accomplish. On more days than I can think of, I’ve let it drop a bomb on my goals. I’ve been throwing this pity party for way too long and believe me I’m more than tired of it.
This self-doubt thing is a b-!
When I see my peers out here hustling, thriving and accomplishing their goals, I congratulate them while silently cursing myself. I keep wondering what’s stopping me from investing in my own future. I know I’m just as capable if not more capable of getting out there and making my dreams come true. But here’s the difference: my peers have stopped hoping and wishing–they are out there grinding. Despite their fears and insecurities, lack of money or even know how, they have found a way to do exactly what they wanted. They stepped on to that ledge and jumped. While I’m still stuck here peering over the ledge, they haven’t looked back once.
I’d love for someone to show me how they did it, but I know that hustling and grinding doesn’t always have an exact recipe. There is more than one way to reach your successes and goals, but it seems I haven’t found mine yet.
This self-doubt shit is a bitch and she’s killing me softly.
I have stared in the mirror imagining, reaffirming, saying allowed that I am capable of any and everything I put my mind to. Yet, here I am again worried about my grammatical mishaps and run on sentences. I’m worried about my audience not comprehending my ideas as I’ve intended them to be perceived.
For years I’ve dreamt of doing more than working for someone else and accomplishing their goals, but like a real-life board game, I keep encountering roadblocks. The message is always profoundly stated: Do not pass go; do not collect $200. It’s a mental block that isn’t allowing me to share or express my feelings in the way that I’d like to. How many insecurities can I share with you before I get to my talents? I’ve got a million and as of now, that aren’t doing me any good.
Believe me, I’m tired of giving myself this self-doubt pity party. I’m tired of telling myself I’m going to get it done the day after tomorrow. You know that expression, “I’m sick and tired or being sick and tired,” well that’s my undesired motto. I can’t stand being mediocre; I’ve got too many talents to share. I know I have the potential to create, galvanize, and inspire, but self-doubt is at the forefront of it all.
She’s a bitch who’s killing me softly and suffocating my soul.
There is a tiny voice in the back of my mind that’s cheering me on, ready to scream out loud, ready to make that YouTube video, share my vegan recipes, take pictures of strangers, start the photography business, write my book and GIVE THE WORLD MYSELF in my purest form, but I CAN’T manifest those wants into reality, and I don’t know why. Apparently, that little voice isn’t enough to motivate me in to action.
This self-doubt bitch is choking the life out of me, but I don’t know how to overcome her. She seems to be winning this war and I’m sharing my frustrations with the world.
Signed,
Scared, intimidated, and a little defeated.
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January 12, 2014
You are not alone. Lots of us deal with this very thing. At the core of it some of us just don’t feel like we are enough. That truth takes some time to seep in but when it does then other truths follow it like – “we all have something to contribute” and “no one else can do what I do” and “someone needs to hear my story, see from where I am standing” and… the list goes on. I say start with gratitude. Start keeping a list of everything you are grateful for and make sure something about YOU is on that list. Soon you’ll have the courage to leap. ***hugs and hi5s**
January 12, 2014
Very nice and inspiring, touches the soul and makes you think. What you wrote about happens to many of us who self doubt ourselves and are scared to purse dreams beyond a thought.
January 12, 2014
We’ve all been there ;)
January 12, 2014
I feel you so much on this. I feel like self doubt and fear of failure are one in the same for me. But WE can do it! Develop a plan and a timeline and make yourself do it no matter what. I think when you take the first step and overcome your doubt you have no where to go but up!
January 13, 2014
I feel you on each and every level, honestly its hard, its painful and inspiring this thing called life. I am sooo happy you shared your story on here being so honest is rare these days. My advice being in my late 20’s and trying to get my own business off the ground I can tell you this, there will be so many failure moments you will loose count BUT there where be that one success which will wipe away every failed attempt and oddly enough the success has always come just when I want to give up its almost as if God is saying “lets give her a break” and as soon a I get that success it keeps me moving. Having a dream is the easy part but creating it and living it is hard but I believe its soooo worth it when you see your dreams cme true. Don’t stop fighting for your dreams even when it doesn’t seem like your winning you are because your trying!
January 13, 2014
Have you been reading my mind, living my life? Lol. I know exactly how you feel. A lot of us feel this way, but once you really get going nothing will stop yet. Don’t let your doubt keep you from achieving your goals and making dreams realities. One thing I have learned and to stop comparing myself to my peers and just do my thing.
January 13, 2014
I’ve felt this same exact way for some time now but I have decided to take control. I still have those clouds of self-doubt but I realized it’s all a matter of just pushing myself at least a cm. or in. at a time. Thanks for sharing this because often times we feel like we are alone when it comes to self-pity. Oh and I’ll be looking out for that Vegan recipe book!! :-)
January 21, 2014
Thank you, It’s much appreciated. I know I’m not alone. It’s just when it all hits at once or sometimes you’re in a constant cycle it’s just too much to bare.
http://www.augustrae.com
January 21, 2014
Thank you for the words of encouragement. I’m slowly working on coming out of my shell and pushing myself that much harder. I have to recognize my small strides.