My sexuality is something that I have been dealing with for a while now. Not in the traditional sense of, am I gay or not, but in a sense of, am I too sexual.

At one point it seemed like the only reason men approached me is because they wanted a sexual relationship with me. Of course my brilliance and personality were a plus, but not the main attraction. I would do simple things like drink from a straw and have people say, “OMG! Liv you are so sexual!” Leaving me looking around like… “I just took a sip of my drink WTF?” So I began to wonder, what made me come off this way? Was it in my speech or my behavior? Was I putting out this invisible signal that said, “Fellas, Liv is DTF”? I even asked God to help me not be so sexual, but I had still not found the root of my problem.

Then one day it dawned on me. I had put out into the universe that it was a goal of mine to be sexy in 2012. I legit said out loud and even tweeted that I wanted to “ooze sex” in 2012. NO WONDER! I was just getting what I’d asked for.

Unfortunately that’s not what I really wanted. What I wanted was to be feminine. To have someone look at me, male or female, and say “She’s so feminine and classy.” I don’t want my appeal to come from my sex, I want it to come from my mind, my personality, my talents. I want a man to appreciate me intellectually before he tries to get to know me sexually.

Since this epiphany, I began reading The Power of Femininity by Michelle McKinney Hammond. Not only does she dish the scoop on being a woman, but being a Godly woman. I’ve come far, but I still have a ways to go. I need to learn to be a bit more discreet and to not say or tweet the first thing that pops in my head.

That’s going to be my biggest hurdle but I guarantee you by the end of the year I’ll have it under control. Long story short, I want to be perceived as feminine like a Lena Horne, Phylicia Rashad, or Michelle Obama — to me that is sexy.

Liv