Single, black, gorgeous (so they say), woman. I woke up to rolling thunder and flashes of lightening. 6:30AM, 15 minutes before my third cell-phone alarm would blare, telling me to “DO SOME ABS!” I sat up and counted the seconds in between each bright flash and each crash of thunder. Not because I cared how far away the storm was, but because I wanted to estimate exactly when I should cover my ears. The clap of thunder scares me. It sounds like God is roaring, and it makes me feel like he is angry with me. I looked at the man in my bed, and started to wake him up thinking, as I always do, about acting.

“You have to leave,” I firmly shook him. He arose groggily, sitting upright in my large, comfy, sweet smelling bed, daring red comforters a mess, and stared at me confused. Yes. I was kicking him out. Pointing to the money on the nightstand, I told him thank you. I’ve never known a prostitute to fall asleep afterwards…HA! He looked so peaceful that for a moment my empty heart felt something, and I let him sleep. You see, after discovering Terry, the man I thought I would marry, was a compulsive liar and no account mooching WHORE, I decided I would never date again. I’d pursue my one true love full throttle, supremely focusing on becoming a working actress, and one day winning an Oscar. In moments of utter weakness, however, I would sometimes pay for company and keep my heart to myself.

So far, so good, so simple. It is the only way to ensure that there will never be another string attached to my heart, unless it’s for keeps. I live in Chocolate City, but I’m moving to LA in two weeks with JuJu. JuJu dances like nothing I’ve ever seen before. He was the one of the only true friends I made in DC. I’m still willing to take a risk knowing that getting hurt again is possible and probable. Once you accept that…it still isn’t easy, especially not when it’s something you really want. That’s the most difficult time. When you really want it, it hurts the most, but you still go to the audition. You don’t give half. You give your all. You leave your heart out there with those casting agents, no second guessing. You commit fully. Acting is so much like falling in love. The more vulnerable you are, the greater the rewards. I don’t know where I will end up. I don’t know how far I’ll go on my journey to Hollywood. That’s for another book. What I do know for sure is this; you have to be honest with yourself, with your mate, with the lines in the script, with the person directing you through the camera lens. That’s the mark of a great lover and an Oscar winning actress.

Chaseedaw
Pitched Entry

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Image Source: Veronica Webb, 1990’s