I’ve been complimented and questioned quite a lot lately. And I am not talking about “Your shoes are cute” followed by “Where did you get them?” I am talking about “Your hair looks really nice” followed by “Is it your real hair?” What the (insert the wonderful ‘F’ word) is how the voice in my head responded. Luckily, my verbal response was “Does it matter?” She then responded, “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean it like that?” Again, What the (insert the wonderful ‘F’ word)! I didn’t know what “I didn’t mean it like that” exactly meant. The question seemed quite direct and straightforward to me. Either way, I didn’t understand why it mattered if it was my real hair or not. If you like it, you like it. Are you going to dislike my hair when I tell you “No, it’s not mine”?

I walked away from her office annoyed and offended. I seriously sat for a few minutes contemplating if I had said the proper thing. Was I just being overly sensitive? Perhaps I should have said nothing in response to her question and simply responded “Thank you” in regards to the compliment. But, was it really a compliment when an insult immediately followed? Was it really an insult? It had to be, because my feathers were truly ruffled. Plus, before I could even issue my ‘thank you’ she had questioned me. I just don’t understand people who give a compliment and then give you a backhanded slap by asking a rude question. To me, it negates the compliment. What follows a compliment is a ‘Thank you’ from the recipient, not a rude question or statement from the giver.

I would never give someone a compliment and then allow my lips to part to give a slight diss. The adage has been around for years, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” There is nothing nice about asking someone about the realness of their hair, their clothes or anything else. Please, people, have decorum-what comes up, doesn’t have to come out, truly.

Eve Everett is quiet and quirky, crazy and flaky, cool and fun and, above all, A Flawed Girl. It has taken her some time to become honest with herself about herself. She is now taking baby steps to Embracing Eve-learning to forgive without punishment and enjoy life without complaint. Follow her on twitter @afgconversation and her blog A Flawed Girl’s Conversation.

Image Source: Versace F/W 1987/’88, Model: Brynja Sverris