Dear Adam*,

It’s been 3 years since we ended our relationship. It felt as weird typing that as it did saying it. I don’t feel like I miss us, but I’m grateful for what we had.
Writing this is bringing a lot of memories back, and I’ll be honest and say that going down memory lane is moving. This isn’t a: ‘I want you back’ letter, or even a: ‘I hate you’ one or a: ‘I’m better off without you’ one.

You know me better than that.

We were together for a long time, and I don’t think the length matters as much as the growth we both went through during it.

You were my first real boyfriend and my first love. It was love – what we had. But I understand when they say it’s not enough. Or maybe it just wasn’t true.

Love has to fail, I believe that; but true love is different…because if something is true, than how could that ‘true love’ be reciprocated every time we think we’ve ‘found’ it?

I’m not writing this to tell you about the things you did that hurt me, I don’t want an apology. And I’ve heard a saying that “if you can be friends after, you weren’t really in love; or you’re still not over each other”

So many damn sayings, and it’s like me to over analyze each one to give an explanation to what we were.

I don’t think I need to explain why we broke up. It was mutual in essence, we both felt it coming. I’m glad you sensed it, because I realized I lost my voice. Or I was afraid to speak my mind. And that’s probably a lesson I needed to learn.

I guess being young does make you naïve in a way. I had a lot of heart, but I was too giving. Too . . . . submissive. Had our relationship continued, we both would have hurt each other.

In fact, looking back on our time together, there are a lot of things I see now that I didn’t then.
But that’s how it is with your first boyfriend. You don’t know what’s wrong or right, or what things to let pass. I needed that experience.

I haven’t had another boyfriend since we broke up; I’m enjoying my life right now. And I don’t mean this in a sarcastic way, but I’m truly happy for you and your new marriage.

I’m happy you found your one. I know that’s what you really wanted…to be married and have a family. We were headed that way, but I wasn’t ready. I don’t even know if I’m ready now.

I’m happy that you’ve found someone who could give you what I couldn’t.

I’m happy you understood that you “needed to set me free” that night we broke up – the night that we last spoke.

I’ve had my fun since.

I’ve traveled, made new friends, and changed a lot. I don’t wonder what things would be like if we had stayed together. I’m grateful for the time we had then.
You’ve taught me a lot without you knowing it, thank you.

Upon hearing about the new milestone in your life, whether you hear this or not; whether you care or not.
I’m happy for you. I wish you the best, and I always have.

Warmest,
Tal

*name has been changed.

Tal is Makeup Artist and Skin Therapist who enjoys the pleasures of sunflowers and tea. She likes to consider the world her home and is always trying to read too many books at the same time. You can follow her tweets about wine and Game of Thrones.