Who Is This And How Do You Know My Man

That text message or phone call that changes things.

That text message or phone call that comes after flirtatious texts, praises from the night before or scandalous nudes have hit his phone.

That text message or phone call that just let you know some things: that man you’ve been seeing/messing around with isn’t single and his woman is confrontational. You begin to aggressively curse him out in your head and regret the day you gave him your number. You wish you would have walked away from his amazing smile and deep, soothing quiet storm radio voice.

Next you start thinking about your response to her. You have only two options: be apologetic and inform her you didn’t know anything about her or become defensive and go off on her for questioning you. I tend to go with option 2 and a conversation with my girlfriends confirms that most of us go with that option 2.

You are starting to wonder if she questions her boyfriend/husband like this? Why is she checking me like I’m the one in a relationship with her? So what was once in your head is now coming out of your mouth and an argument ensues.

She starts asking about the date when the two of you met, about nights he didn’t come home, whether you have been to their place of residence and if you care that he has a woman at home. Of course you care and you wouldn’t be in this situation if you knew about her. But you won’t let her know that because you aren’t the one that should be on the receiving end of her questioning and anger. So you yell and curse her out without an ounce of remorse in your voice. You both get annoyed and the convo ends with someone angrily hanging up the phone.

At that moment you start to think back and you start noticing the red flags that pretty much illuminated a sign that read CHEATER & LIAR over his head that you ignored. You delete everything including his contact information and anything that reminds you of him. The one text message or phone call that changed some thing else — you now ask: “Do you have a girlfriend or wife I need to know about?”

Lesson learned.

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Nikita is a Southerner living above the Bible Belt in Brooklyn. She writes about fashion/style and her life in NY over at Oh That’s Nik.
Pitched Entry