I Gave Up My Relationship To Focus On My Career

He had been complaining that I wasn’t spending enough time with him.

We only saw each other maybe once or twice every month (and no it wasn’t in any way a long distance relationship) and although we spoke at lengths via phone almost every night about a future together, what we wanted to do together, and how much of a powerful couple we would be – I knew there was more I wanted to do than being in love and trying to juggle the life of a young woman trying to make it out there.

He was my on and off boyfriend for 3 years, we had our best and worst moments (those that made me smile and those that triggered the worst part of me) – but then, I guess that’s what a lo relationship involves right?

There were days when we longed for each other, other days not so much. There were times he wanted me more than I wanted him – but for me it was a state of being unbothered about our relationship.

And though I loved him, I didn’t sacrifice too much to make our relationship greater than it could have been – really, I didn’t care too much, I was focused. Focused on other things that were more important to me, my career.

I preferred to stay in on weekends and at nights to set goals, create action plans, send emails, research about my career field, schedule blog posts and meeting dates with prospective clients or persons to feature on my blog rather than going for a fun night out.

The time I spent trying to get what is mine satisfies me more than a relationship, my dreams and wildest aspirations enlightens my spirit, encourages me to go harder and nudges me make my wildest dreams a reality.

My boyfriend supported my dreams no matter how wild they were – when I was struck by an awesome idea I shared it with him, when I got promoted one level higher in my new job he was there with me – honestly, he was one of the most supportive boyfriends I have ever had.

But I was tired of being selfish. I was tired of making his life unhappy because I didn’t care about him as much as I could. I was tired of putting him on the backbench because of my own wants and needs. The truth was, I cared more about myself than him.

I didn’t care too much if he just wanted to snuggle with me while I worked. I just wanted my time, my own space to breathe, to let my mind roam and to indulge in the plans I had created to make my life greater in the years to come. My goal is to become successful, self-sufficient and self-reliant – I couldn’t be bothered to worry if my boyfriend was cheating while I was trying to get mine, I just wanted my mind to focus on my career and that was of most importance to me, so I called off our relationship. I sidelined it, benched it and told it to hold off, because I wasn’t committed to all that.

It took awhile before I got to that point though. Before, I would start arguments to allow him to stop calling me for days – that was my time to just focus. I thought relationships took too much of my darn time. And that time, I really don’t have. I would rather spend my time trying the difficult issues surrounding my career, working on being a good net-worker and how to build an empire rather than arguing about me finding time for him or where he stood in my life.

Calling it off broke my heart not only his. I wish I had it within me to hold on to him while working on my career.

These days, I spend my days and weekends committed to my career – sleeping at odd hours, scheduling meeting dates and do the odd things that some single women do because hey, I am focusing on building and getting mine. And though I love doing all this, somewhere in the back of mind – I know I will get back my Mr.Right when the time is right, but right now God knows I don’t have the time now and I could care less about my girlfriends who have their boyfriends and getting theirs at the same time or those other successful women who had their boyfriends while working their way up or the little nudges I get from family friends and relatives about me finding myself a husband and starting a family before it’s too late – I am staying focused on mine.

Carey of the popular For Women To Women