The Truth About 30: Shift Happens.
The months leading up to my 30th birthday were filled with anxiety for reasons that were amplified by society and its standards of where I should be at that specific point in my life.
As I sat there re-evaluating the past 29 years, I felt a sense of discouragement in regards to my accomplishments. For the most part I was doing well, married at 26 to my wonderful husband, had a job and had moved ( 3 years prior) to the land of opportunities, which was quite a big deal being that I hail from a small city.
But that nagging discouraging feeling, I just couldn’t shake it off. I secretly wondered if others shared my sentiments on the eve of their thirty, but I was too afraid to ask out of fear of magnifying mine.
In my mind, I should have had a child by then, be striving in a fabulous career and own the house of my dreams. But that wasn’t my reality, and I was beating myself up for it.
A dear friend of mine was set to be thirty a few weeks before me. We met up a week after her birthday as we often did to catch up and chat. After talking about how much fun we had celebrating my impending doom, I nonchalantly asked her how it felt to no longer be part of the twenties club. She paused and looked away as though looking for the right words to describe the moment and then said: “It’s like there was an automatic shift.” She went on to explain that she had been reflecting on yesteryears and the moments that led her to 30 and realized that some things happen on their own. Not to say that one shouldn’t be proactive in pursuing goals but that the limits to one’s achievements weren’t determined by age. She also declared that she no longer cared to keep up with those who didn’t care to keep up with her. And that 30 was the beginning of a new chapter in her life.
I listened as she shared her feelings on the matter.
Then my turn came.
My 30th birthday was finally here.That morning, instead of dwelling on where I should be, I chose to be thankful for where I was. I came to the conclusion that life is really what you make it. As cliché as it may sound it is the truth. I finally got through my head that by sojourning in the should’ve could’ve but didn’t state of mind I was doing myself the biggest disservice.
And then over a period of a few weeks, it happened. The “shift” my dear friend had so eloquently described. That “I’m not going out of my way to please people” attitude, that “ I know what my goals are and I will get to them in due time” attitude, that “ I am where I am because it’s where I need to be right at this moment” attitude.
The shift, it happened.
My dial is no longer set on society’s it is set on God’s. I’ve learned that His timing is always perfect and that comparing myself to others achievements does nothing but stunt my own.
I recently stumbled upon this quote by Leroy “Satchel” Paige: “Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter. “
I still don’t mind.
March 13, 2014
I have been doing some reflecting about how I feel about entering the 30 club. This post really speaks to many of the things I was feeling. The biggest question being have I accomplished all the things I wanted to accomplish by thirty? But like your friend said, “in due time”. I still haven’t quite embraced it… But my perspective is shifting. Commenting that I have also shared similar feelings is a big step. Like you said, is this really something one wants to admit to- hesitation to turn a year older. But admitting those feelings is a step towards taking control of it and not letting the thought of it take control of you. Thanks for this post! I loved the quote at the end… about to go tweet that one.
March 17, 2014
You are so very welcome! Thanks for reading! And yes to that quote! I love it.
March 15, 2014
Lovely. By your words, I can tell that you’re one of those women who make me look forward to 30. I’m glad this shift happened to you and hope that your life continues to move in a positive direction.
March 17, 2014
Thank you for the kind word! 30 is great! It’s what you make it! Thanks for reading, you’re readership is appreciated!
March 16, 2014
I definitely remember that ’30 shift’ …approaching 32 in a few months and that ‘mind over matter’ quote has been the best kind of peace in these last couple years for me! I don’t mind what people have to say, cause it don’t matter! Enjoy it….greatness is ahead for you!