I Wasn’t Drunk In Love. I Was Just Drunk And In My Feelings.

I’ve been drankin,
I’ve been drankin.
I get filthy when that liquor get into me…

Instead I wasn’t drunk in love. I was drunk and in my feelings.
I impatiently stood around pretending to have fun with a bunch of idiots that couldn’t remember my name. I smiled whenever someone would look my way but truthfully I wanted to find the nearest exit and run home with no return to the fast life.

Usually whenever I get invited out to celebrate someones birthday or accomplishment, I’m the first one to show up but if you really want to know, I’m tired of dressing up in too little clothes to drink and dance in a room full of drunk strangers dry humping or looking for an easy lay. I’d so much rather hang out at a chill spot, try something new or relax in bed in my most comfortable pair of sweat pants, laying up with my perfect man, eating fun sized ice cream, telling each other corny jokes while watching old episodes of Martin…

The music grew faint.

With him caressing my little waist that I’ve worked religiously to obtain, while I rub his beard that took him years and lots of care to grow. Him dramatically laughing at every corny yet relatable joke Martin says and me.. Me just staring at the way his beautiful mahogany skin and that perfect smile hides any self consciousness he may have. The way his laugh belts out from the pits of his stomach and he looks at me while I gaze into the depths of his soul. He kisses my forehead and I smile, I moan and plant a kiss on his chest. My man. My perfect man. He looks at me with a perplexed look as if he wants to know what I see that has me in such a daze…If he only knew it was him. “You’re so beautiful” he says to me. “You, even more.” I respond.

“Hey sexy, wanna dance?”

“Hell no.” I snapped back, literally.

How easy it is to be brought back to reality. As I was giving this poor guy that had no idea why I spazzed out on him, all of my attitude and neck rolls that can take any girl back to the 90’s, I looked behind him to see the exit sign in all of it’s red halo glory. That was all the confirmation I needed. My friend would understand. She had to. Plus I was there long enough to show face, have a few drinks and take pictures. This just wasn’t the life I wanted to live anymore. I’ve seen it all, done it all and I’m not missing a thing…

Just him.

Daja