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Unusual is not a word synonymously used as a compliment, at least not in my eyes. And may I also
add that I hate hearing it used with my name. I cringe when I hear: “You have an unusual name.” I’ve learned to deal with it by saving face, but I’d rather drop an F bomb to the person issuing the word. Unusual is one of the milder insults and backhanded compliments that I’ve heard about my name.

In the past, I’ve gotten blank stares, eye rolls, the persistent “what did you say,” and the ever consistent joke I’ve never heard before. On one occasion, someone laughed in my face. I was humiliated.

All I ever wanted was to go into a souvenir store and pick up a key chain with my name on it. I didn’t think I was asking for much. I’d often wondered what was so odd about the letters spelling out my name. In my eyes, anyone that learned to read past the 5th grade should be able to pronounce it, right? WRONG! I don’t remember anyone pronouncing my name correctly and that was part of the embarrassment. My name needed constant practice and participation. I have fond memories of always being called Keisha. I was never a part of the Ashley or Shawntaye crew. You would never refer to me as Amber W. No Jessica H’s for me. No “Nicole with the big butt,” references for this chick. You only need to mention my name and everyone knows who it is.

As a child, I was ashamed and even embarrassed, never proud. I didn’t know how to be proud of being different. My mother set me apart from the beginning. She made it so I’d always stand out. There wasn’t any fitting in and my name was the reason.

“I thought it was different and unique. I didn’t want you to be like everyone else,” is what she always says. She’s right, I’m not.

My name is my name and I’ve learned to own it. If you can’t pronounce it I’ll help you. If you make a joke about it, I won’t laugh and if you tell me that it’s unusual, you’ll get a blank stare.

The older I get, the more I realize my name is FRIGGIN brilliant. It’s kind of epic and I’d like to thank my mother for being creative. I’ve grown to love my name. I still cringe at the mispronunciations, but that’s to be expected. When people learn something new their brain has to wrap around it, and they’ve got to learn to comprehend what’s going on in their brain.

Raekissa, pronounced RAY-KISS-UH or Kissa for short. If your name isn’t like everyone else’s own it and make it the NEW NORMAL. This is a toast to the girls that felt like me. Cheers to the Dominica’s, Quvenzhane’s, and Acquietha’s. Our names are A LOT different. We may not fit in because of it, but don’t be ashamed about it. Be happy to have something all your own. Your name is uniquely fitting for only you. Learn to own it.

Kissa

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Image Source: Vintage Portait of model Stacey Mckenzie