You said this isn’t going anywhere, right? Everything that I tell you remains just between me and you? Ok, ok…here it is. I don’t want to be here anymore. No, I don’t want to die or anything but, can I just be transported into a different realm? Can I get a quick glimpse of what my future looks like? Because, this right here? This life right here? It’s too hard! Why do I feel like every single door that closes in my face leads me to 25 million more? My faith in you has left and I don’t think it’s ever coming back. You told me that once I call unto you, all of my worries would be faded away. You said that if I truly believed in Ephesians 3:20 that my blessings would reign; unconditionally. I’ve believed since June 2007, I’ve been on my knees since the day I can remember. Son, my knees are ashy and yet, you’re nowhere in sight. This test is hard, I’m ready to hand in my paper with the words I GIVE UP written at the top and I’m not asking for any pity to be placed on me. Can you just give me the answers? Please? No Child Left Behind, right? Why you always leaving me out?
Go to school they said, it will be fun, they said. Graduate? Yea, make sure you do that. Why do I feel like I wasted all $140,000 of my daddy’s money on a piece of paper that is worthless? I’ve graduated and been marked unemployable. These jobs don’t like me or my major. They’re not messing with a candidate with an unpronounceable name.
Once again, I don’t want to be here. Here being this physical state that I’m in. I’m over it and I demand something new! Give it to me, NOW. I mean…please? I promise I’ll follow your rules, cross my T’s and dot my I’s? That’s what you want right? Is for me to follow you? I’ve never been that great at walking to the beat of someone else’s drum but, if it means for me to leave this place, I’ll be on your marching band. Just please, get me out of here.
I’ve been patient for two+ years and I still ain’t seen nothin’. What’s good God? You not messin’ with me no more?
Nneji
image source: vickie sorensen, union models
February 15, 2014
Be strong! He’ll definitely come through for you
Just relax, quality takes time
February 17, 2014
I’m already reaping the benefits of remaining faithful and continuing to praise Him even when I feel like I’m in the dark. Thank you Olakunmi! :)
http://NaturallyNaija.com
February 16, 2014
Once I learned to rely less in praying for doors to open n more on getting my knees ashy due to hard work, things started to change in my life. Remember, everyday In this world people who steadfastly pray, yes true belivers, still die of hunger, war n sickess. Your prayers of finding a job aren’t more important than theirs!
February 17, 2014
SO true! – thanks for reading!
http://NaturallyNaija.com