Loving Over Looking
So I’m skimming through my Instagram news feed and I come across a couple that I would have never thought would be together. I sat there, staring at the picture, going through the likes and comments and the only thing that seemed to take over my mind for the rest of the day was love! So after seeing what looked to me to be a surprising feat, I got to texting my friends about how beautiful love was and their tainted souls responded to me saying, “girl, love will get you killed” followed by crying emojis. I was honestly THROUGH with their shenanigans because while I too have seen the ugly side of love, I have always hoped that I’d one day also see the beauty of it.
Growing up all I ever heard from my girlfriends were things like: “I don’t want to date an ugly guy because we won’t look good when we go out”, “I mean look at me why would I date someone ugly”, or “Ew. No.. He is ugly”. But it’s funny how those “beautiful” guys we once dated turned out to be some of the biggest mistakes we ever made. Of course we all want to date someone physically appealing to others and ourselves, but at what cost?
I mean think about it, how many times have you heard a female talk negatively about men. You know calling guys dogs and always mentioning that there are no decent ones out here. But have they ever stopped to think that their theory may just be wrong and that they probably should stop choosing to date guys who show themselves from the start? Guys always show us who they are but we are so wrapped up in their looks and what everyone else thinks of “us” together rather than focusing on what’s important- how you feel and how you are being treated. Regardless of whether the guy is as handsome as Lance Gross or far from it (sorry guys): any guy could be a “DOG”.
I’m just over it. We all know of and/or have been the girl who knows a guy willing to love and treat us like the Princesses or Queens we have every right to be. But what do we do? Say he’s “too nice” and stick him in the friend-zone that many of us like to throw the guys who should be, could be, and possibly may be our future significant others.
See love isn’t ugly, sometimes its just our perception that is.
Signed, A Hopeful Lover.
January 28, 2014
I second this!
January 28, 2014
I understand completely. I share the same disgust with women who are constantly bashing the men, who they are constantly dating. You attract what you think; if a woman keeps thinking that all men are dogs, then naturally, she will continue to attract the same kind of man into her life. It’s also about being the standard, as oppose to setting one. On top of that, though, every nice guy you meet is not mean to be your boyfriend, so unfortunately, some guys have to be friend zoned to clear a path for someone who truly appreciates them for who they are rather than what they do for them.
Great post!
January 28, 2014
This post was so beautiful and true for even me. I was recently in a similar situation. I had the perfect guy, he made me laugh, he was there for me and treated me like a queen. I never took him seriously and on the side I was flirting with a guy that, to the eye, appeared much more attractive. I pray that one day I can find my way back to that plateau with him. Good luck and congratulations on your wonderful epiphany
April 1, 2014
If it is true love, then you will both be together and live happily ever after like the Disney fairytales ! Yes, because I honestly don’t think I could do another one of these guys people thought looked perfect for me but treated me like less than I was supposed to be treated !
January 28, 2014
Wonderfully written and true on so many levels.
April 1, 2014
Thank You <3
January 29, 2014
This hit home to me. I recently started dating a guy that isn’t ugly by far but my friends doesn’t think he “matches” me. I used to be judge based on “how we look together” but I realize that it’s not what we look like as a couple on the outside but how we appeal to eachother on the inside. He is opposite of everything I normally go for, but I realized that it never worked with anyone who “looked right for me.”
April 1, 2014
Exactly, I bet he treats you like the QUEEN you are!!! Some of these “good looking” guys are so full of themselves or are “good looking” with nasty personalities. NO THANK YOU! I will take the guy the girls aren’t all over any day ! lol