“Girl, I was two men away from being a hoe!”

My mother had a very raw talk with me over the Thanksgiving holiday. The quote above can be analyzed in a million different ways. Either my mom could have been a hoe or was a hoe. My mother didn’t tell me how many sexual partners she had as a young woman, but she made it very clear that if she had gone two men further, she would have been a hoe.

This generation has been more promiscuous than others. We live for sex. We enjoy sex. We buy into sex. It’s also pretty natural to have multiple partners. As long as your are responsible. But by my mother’s comments, I do not think women understand that a man doesn’t have to know our personal history to call us a hoe. We know before we get to the point of being a hoe. Some women leave their private lives open for the public to see and other women hide knowing that their life is as equally damaging as the woman who allows the world a front seat.

We as women know when we have gone too far with our bodies. Even the woman hiding behind closed doors knows that her self-conscious has warned her of her action. I don’t know if we are scared of society’s rules or the voices in our head. But we do know when it’s time to stop.

I write this to let you know that I’m in between. Like my mother I’m two away from being a hoe and I am the silent woman hiding her pain and frustration behind closed doors. My mother’s comedic and honest words rung through me like chapel bells. I have to fix myself and stop myself before it’s too late. I can no longer use myself for a man’s Persian toy trying to find love.

Yes, we all are almost two away.

Adia