While the average person was barbecuing and soaking up the sun on the 4th of July, I was home snuggled in my bed watching reruns of Law & Order: SVU on Netflix, enjoying my unexpected day off.

Out of habit and distraction, I began scrolling down my Facebook feed. Other than the usual ‘fake deep’ inspirational quotes, selfies of adults and children alike decked out in their best patriotic get-ups and endless photos of ‘#foodporn’ cookout plates, there was nothing too interesting that piqued my attention. Back to SVU.

Later, out of distraction and pure nosiness, I somehow ended up on the profile of.. well, I’ll just call her ‘CC,’ girlfriend of a blast from my past. The first thing my eyes zoned in on? “Engaged to ______________ _________.” (Just my luck for being a creep, right?) In complete and utter shock, I swiftly closed out of the app and set my phone down. While I admit, I tried to act as if I was unbothered by the engagement, truthfully, my heart cried. I mean, how else does one react upon finding out the guy she was so sure she’d spend all of eternity with is engaged to some woman he had barely known a year? How else does one react upon finding out the guy she wasn’t even sure she was completely over yet is engaged when it had been less than a year since the two of them last had a telephone conversation?

It was enough finding out ‘CC’ was with child, but to further inflame the wound by finding out she was engaged to the man who once made you feel euphoric and as if all of your troubles were non-existent, to the man who once revealed you were the only woman he trusted.

Going on about my business and not acting like it hurt seemed it’d almost be an impossible task. I mean, how is one simply supposed to just up and forget about someone she still has dreams about, someone she still thinks of when she hears certain songs, when she hears certain phrases and when she drives past certain places?

Although not much time has elapsed since finding out, I will say I’m in a much better space now than I was when I first found out ‘Blast from the Past’ was even entertaining someone new. I’ve found comfort in realizing that some things, no matter how bad you want them, are just not meant to be.

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Antionette Latrese
Twitter // FAWF posts by Antionette Latrese