Stuck in a chain of pain.
Your actions mimic my past, manipulating my present.
I’m constantly waiting for you to leave.
Anytime you’re absent, I think you’re gone forever.
No one has ever stayed to fight for me. All I know is the backs of many men that have been turned on me.
It’s an expectation. I expect to be alone. I anticipate being alone.
My insecurity is my security.
I know what to expect, therefore you can never disappointment me.
I knew you would leave.
The constant need for validation fills my void- My fear of being left.
When will my cup ever run over.
When will I be fixed.
I’m just waiting.
Sweep me off my feet and make me forget my past.
Give me the gift of the present.
I just want a new chapter… Tired of rewriting the old.
My fear makes me want perfection in you, but you will never be perfect.
The slightest presence of an inconsistency makes me see them- the ones who left.
And then I become stuck again.
Maybe I’m stuck in my head. Either way, I’m stuck.

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Jonnita Condra is a Chicago native, currently residing in New York. You can read about her transparent journey of quitting her 9-5, and trusting God to lead the way at JonnitaCondra.com. She is also the author of the beginner entrepreneur handbook, Five Ways to Get Your Ideas out of Your Head. My life has been an experiment of walking in purpose and walking away from the predictable.