So I tried it. Every one said that I should do something different. I hadn’t dated in 11 months so what was there to lose? I got on my laptop, pulled up the site and began my online dating profile. I entered my credit card information for a one month subscription (yes I paid!!) and then began to quickly type the details of what a date with me would look like. I had tried online dating once before…for five days…and believe it or not, the one guy who piqued my interest dated one of my friends the year before. I was flabbergasted and totally turned off by online dating and dating itself at that pont. I mean, what were the odds of that happening- in New York!? But with that one year no-dating mark coming up, I was determined to put myself out there and have some fun with it. So, after describing five things about myself and my favorite movies, I downloaded the site’s app to my phone and I was ready to go. Instantly, I was receiving messages, and after messaging back and forth with a few guys, I was over it! I did not have the time and had lost interest…until three days later when he messaged. The message came to my phone and while I was busy working, I decided to check and I was pleasantly surprised. He took the time to send me a real message and most importantly, he made me laugh. Being good looking did not hurt either so I quickly checked out his profile – 38, no children…I messaged back; and so the day went. He was funny and seemed kind because while we would all love to date that good looking hunk, I prefer to be with a man with a kind heart especially given that my last relationship was with a man who tore me down and said the most unkind things to me especially at the end of our relationship. By 7pm that night, he sent me his number. We had graduated to a real phone conversation.

After lots of texts and phone calls, we still could not meet though. I was out of the country for work. Every time I had set a date to return, I would have to push it back. I told him that he did not have to wait on me because it was definitely unfair to have him waiting a month to meet me. That month turned into 6 weeks and soon I was on a plane back to New York. As soon as I got home I called him to tell him I had arrived and after a short convo, I went to bed because we were to meet the next day. The next morning, I could barely get out bed. Sick! I had picked up some bug from all the travelling. I called him to cancel. “I waited six weeks, what’s a few more days?” he reasoned.

By day three of my return I was well just enough to meet him at a bar close to my house. I dressed casually- blue jeans, flats, a white tea, a colorful scarf and my curly hair pinned up in a ponytail. With some light makeup, I was ready to go…but I sure did look sick. I wanted to get to the bar before he did, so I arrived at the bar first and took a seat near the window. I am sitting here now and I as look down at my jeans, I hope that he is not turned off by my simple look. I am not nervous actually. I am pretty calm sitting here as I look again at his picture on my phone. My friend had said to not get caught up with one guy- and especially the first guy- you hit it off with through online dating. But he wasn’t just the first, he was the only one too because I cancelled the subscription to the online dating site before the month was up. I didn’t have the time nor the interest and while I was busy travelling for work, I was happy to speak to this one guy. I was also sure not to get my hopes up, be realistic and keep my head out of the clouds and my feet firmly planted on the ground but as he would speak about his day and his family and his future plans, I began to think of him as a beautiful distraction; making me envision intertwining lives, family visits, Friday night dancing, big Saturday breakfasts, loud Sunday football games, stolen kisses, hiding from the rain, shared laundry, I wash/you dry, the coaxing to find out what’s wrong, the laughter and love-making right after, me always falling asleep in his arms…and I was just grateful for him for helping me dream again; that these things could be possible again. I know I know, head out of the clouds, feet on the ground. But I am hopeful again and proud that I put myself out there.

I think I see him coming. I take a deep breath and I watch as he looks around, spots me by the window and is walking towards me with a big smile on his face. He actually looks better than he does in his pictures and that smile… “Feet on the ground Lee, feet on the ground.” He reaches me, kisses my cheek and says “You’re beautiful”…

Aleah