No Crystals On My Fine China

I’ve heard of getting the vajayjay waxed. I’ve heard of getting the vajayjay rejuvenated. I’ve heard of getting the vajayjay steamed. What I don’t understand is how I missed vattooing, better known as vajazzle. Where was I in January 2010 when Jennifer Love Hewitt had all the ladies — except me and perhaps you too — sitting at their computers searching all about the upcoming trend of vajazzling? Oh, I remember now! I was job searching on my computer, and didn’t have the time, money or thought to bling out my fine china.

I seriously just learned about vajazzle on 9/3/14 as I opened to page 36 of Today’s Chicago Woman. I don’t know about anyone else, but if I want the Swarovski experience, it won’t be in my panties or on my panties. The only place you can Swarovski me is on my wrist, my finger, my ears and around my neck. So, yes, I will take the bracelet, the ring, the earrings and the necklace, but I say ‘no’ to accessorizing my vajayjay.

Although I have no intentions in getting in my car to visit a spa to be vajazzled, there is a good thing about this vattoo — NO PUBIC HAIR REQUIRED. Wow! That is amazing, right?! I was truly worried that I wouldn’t qualify. After all, who would want their new crystals being hidden in the bush? On second thought, where do I sign up?

Yeah, I’m kidding, I pass on the jewels being glued (eyelash glue is a good option) to one of my most sensitive areas.

I wasn’t interested, just curious about this vajazzle thang. So, I had to google it. And, I even took a moment to look at a few pictures-fine china covered by a rhinestone hello kitty, Christmas tree and other craziness. I am glad I read up on this vajazzle, but I’m okay if the information is not retained!

Eve Everett is exhilarating yet dull, energetic yet fatigued and economical yet hmm…. she really is just economical, period. Follow her and her project A Flawed Girl’s Conversation