Many, many years ago I was walking home with my friend when a guy rolled up on us and wanted to holla. He wanted my name and number. I declined with a simple, “I’m not dating.” Apparently, he wasn’t used to rejection. “What, you like girls?” was his comeback. What the hell? Oh, because I am walking with a girl (I kept the thought to myself). Would saying, “Yes!” make him leave me alone? Or, would it excite him enough to hop out his ride and ask questions about me and my girl? So, without my friend and me exchanging glances or words, we just kept walking.

During high school, my bestie approached me and said that a girl had asked her if I were a lesbian. I asked, “Why did she ask you that?” Well, apparently, since I didn’t go to dances and talk about guys, I was secretly lusting on girls in daisy dukes and midriff shirts. People can really be foolish. The girl was right about one thing-I didn’t ever go to dances. Little did she know, because she was NOT my friend or even an associate, I surely talked about guys. I had conversations with guys, crushes on guys, had kissed a couple of guys and let some of the guys touch on my booty. By the way, my bestie told the girl to ask me about my personal business. The girl never said a word to me.

During college, as I was getting to know some of the ladies in the dorm lobby, I was asked about my romantic life. “Do you have a boyfriend?” When my response was “no,” I was immediately asked, “Do you have a girlfriend?” Damn, really? Perhaps I didn’t have a boyfriend because I had a HUSBAND. (I didn’t have a husband.) But, dang, here I was again liking and loving women without my consent.

I am just trying to understand why I always have to be attached to a man. And, when I make it known that I am not attached to a man, then I am automatically a lesbian. Why can’t I just be a young lady focusing on other things in life until the right relationship comes along? I have had my fair share of encounters with men. However, I am NOT one of those women who always need to have a man in my life. Yes, I would like to be all lovey dovey but I am not forcing anything. So, yes, I have spent months and years without a man in my world. I know women who break up with a guy Tuesday at 9 am and meet a new guy for breakfast on Tuesday at 9:01 am. Like, for real? That is not me.

Eve Everett