Online Dating Sucks: The 3 Types Of Men You’ll Find

I am pretty reserved, I guess. I like to lay in between my sheets with my laptop across from me and just relax in completely quiet. I think everyone should enjoy their own company, if you can’t enjoy being with yourself why would you expect others to? Along with being reserved, I am shy, soft-spoken, and basically an introvert. I think before I speak. I don’t dance like I just don’t care…I have to meticulously think about what foot goes where and the correct timing of when arms need to sway to the beat. While I don’t mind being this way it gets awkward trying to find someone to date. Therefore, I figured online dating would take away some of that awkwardness. I had heard plenty about hopeless individuals who soon found true love and are now engaged or married with two and a half children and a dog. I mean the internet is magic, right? Well no not for me apparently, and as you’ve probably seen from the title, online dating sucks and here are few of the many reasons why:

1. THE OLD MAN/PERVERT

I’m a young college student! I do not want old men that could be my father or grandfather messaging me about how “experienced” they are in only God knows what or how they have more money than guys my age. I don’t want a sugar daddy! You are gross and in a mid-life crisis. Stop messaging me repeatedly before I report you. If there are no old men on these sites, there are really perverted ones to replace them. One guy on PlentyOfFish.com, with a handsome no pic avatar, sent me a Rated R, don’t let your mamma hear this, broken grammar-filled message about what he wanted to do with my body. I blocked and reported him, but the trauma remains unwashed.

2. THE CATFISH

One episode on MTV’s Catfish, okay…all episodes of Catfish consist of a not-so -good-looking person pretending to be a drop-dead gorgeous person online. Years ago, I once got a message from a guy who had an Arnold Schwarzenegger body, glowing burgundy skin,and almond-shaped eyes. I instantly fell in lust. After a few days of flirty messages he gave me his number. He texted me, wanting to meet him at golf course the next afternoon. I wasn’t sure at first, but he kept insisting. I figured I wasn’t going to be taken off my single status sitting on my behind messaging someone all day, so I took the risk. I, however, will not be ending up in the newspaper with MISSING written above my picture so I took my precautions. I’d heard of the golf course before and I planned on going during the day when there would definitely be plenty of witnesses around.

So the next day I’m running late, and I tell the guy to wait for me. He texts me back saying it’s fine with him and he is waiting for me at the golf course. I finally arrive to the place, find parking, and head out with my cute flowered halter top and skinny jeans. The place is a vast entertainment spot with movie theaters, night clubs, and restaurants, so I do not know where the golf course is located. I called him: no answer. Okay? I texted him to meet me in the parking lot. He texts me back basically saying okay. I wait a little longer, and at this point people are wondering what I’m doing here by myself looking lost. I felt like they could tell that I was being stood up. Soon a weird feeling with mixed up emotions of confusion, abandonment, and mostly fury filled me inside. I quickly stormed off. I called the guy and he actually picked up the phone. I yell at him driving back home, asking him why he would do that. But I already knew the answer and hung up on his stuttered words. I didn’t need Nev and Max to show up at my door…I was catfished.

3. THE GUY JUST WANTING TO CHAT

Every once in a while, there is a guy who I connect with on these dating sites. Weeks of chatting go by and I wonder, “When is the guy going to ask me out?” Usually the guy is supposed to ask first, right? After weeks of flirty messages and getting to know one another, wouldn’t you want to meet in person? Am I just rushing things? Being an impatient woman, I would go ahead and suggest going out for coffee. The guy in return would start making excuses as to why he couldn’t go, or just ignore my hinting that quickly turned into blatant asking. Sometimes I would let it go, but other times it forced me to discontinue chatting with them. I do not want to waste my time talking to someone unless I know we will meet. In fact, I’ve never met any of the guys I chatted with online.

Even though I’ve never met my true love while online dating, it did help my self-esteem a little. I received messages from a lot of guys when I thought no one found me attractive. But then I also realized that there are guys out there who are even more socially awkward than I am. For now, I will just let things go the natural way and try not to force situations that are not meant to be at the moment. Maybe I will then find someone. Or when my patience sprouts back, return to *whispers* online dating.

Kemi Talks // @kemitalks
Pitched Entry

Image Source: Model + Actress, Laura Harrier