Want - verb have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for

I was raised with the ideology to know what you want in life. “You want it? Go get it — a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.”

True.

But out of all the things that I thought I wanted in life….I realized I didn’t get all of it. I could probably count a million things – or more; from being young and wanting something childish – like a toy; or to this present day and age and wanting something like a job.

There was this really, really, nice spa I had two interviews at. Top-notch and organic, it had a really nice, luxurious atmosphere and even treated some celebrities. It had been written about in magazines and online. …I didn’t get that job.

I went on a date with a really, really, handsome, amazing man. I mean, I felt super comfortable with him. We had a lot in common and wanted the same things in life. We made each other laugh and said we enjoyed each other’s company…….no second date. Or contact after.

Had I wanted those things? Yes, you could not believe. But then again, I’m sure you can. I feel like I’m preaching to the choir here when I say that there are things we really, really want. We think the world will end if we don’t get them. And when we don’t, it does.

Or we convince ourselves that we’re the ones that messed up our chances.

I said that, I said this. I sounded too pushy in my interview. I don’t have the experience. I laughed too much, I moved around too much. I didn’t look him in the eyes. I didn’t ask enough questions. My hair got frizzy. I spilled my water.

This is the most terrible, destructive thing that we do to ourselves. We put the blame on us. Regardless of what you think or feel, things happen the way they’re meant to. All you can do is love yourself for giving your all.

And God, how hard is that to understand?

This is where my best friend came in to give me a much needed, verbal, slap in the face.
I strongly believe that best friends are like soul mates, they’re people you can share your deepest stories…struggles, with. And you never feel like they’re going to judge you, but they will most definitely tell you the truth.

All the cliché things you’ve heard before came back around again.

“What’s meant to be, will be. If someone can’t see your worth, then they’re not for you.”

Funny how those lines can apply to both a job interview and a date.

After hearing those sayings again, I felt grateful; grateful that I had someone in my life to remind me of those things when I forgot.

And grateful that I still had the drive to pick myself up and get back out there. In time, I got more interviews at other great places and in the end…I had multiple offers.

And as far as ‘the one that got away’, he could’ve been the worst thing that happened to me. Or the best. Who’s to say? But regardless, it’s his loss. I’m a little ashamed to say that I let something like that question myself and what I can bring to the table.

Anyone would be lucky to have me in their life whether it’s as an employee or a girlfriend. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life whether it’s as an employee/girlfriend/friend/etc.

In the end, I didn’t get what I wanted. But best believe that I will continue to go after what I want. And I’ll be happy with whatever outcome I get.

Tal is Makeup Artist and Skin Therapist who enjoys the pleasures of sunflowers and tea. She likes to consider the world her home and is always trying to read too many books at the same time. You can follow her tweets about wine and Game of Thrones.

Image Source: Edd Leigh