I’m Not A Club Girl And It’s Okay

Having lived in NYC for almost two years now, I’m proud to say I haven’t been to any clubs. Lounges, bars, and house parties, absolutely. But clubs just don’t appeal to me. And to be completely honest, they never really have.

My 19th birthday brought about my first club experience. I had a good time dancing and meeting new people. But after the night was over, I didn’t have the overwhelming feeling of wanting to go back; so I never did.

That was until I went to college in Los Angeles. With Hollywood being only 30 minutes away, clubbing was a must, and it quickly became a Thursday-Sunday activity. I fell into the habit of going for one reason: I thought it was what I was supposed to do.

The adults around me were always saying “Your 20s are when you have the most fun, so live it up.” At age 21 I interpreted that to mean I should be clubbing and partying. And I have to admit, in the beginning the club was kind of fun; only because it was something new. But the more I went, the more I realized it wasn’t for me.

Getting dressed up, waiting in long lines, navigating through a crowd of drunk people, and strangers grabbing and sweating on you killed my vibe. I started to think something was wrong with me. Why was everyone else able to have fun? But as much as I hated going, I still went.

Have you ever seen a person sitting down at the club? Hi, that was me. Finally after almost a year of this I stopped. Only to return on the super rare occasion of celebrating a close friend’s birthday.
I’ve since realized there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. My personality is more chill and laidback (I’m an introvert). As I continue to grow more comfortable with who I am, it’s hard for me to understand why I wasn’t honest with my friends. I guess it had to do with the fact that I wanted to fit in.

While worrying about living up to the world’s expectations for my age group, I spent a lot of time not being myself. Now I am completely fine with telling people I don’t like the club. And regardless of what they think, I know it’s okay.

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Tamika Burgess is an NYC based writer, blogger, and editor. Her articles have been featured on various sites and she is a contributor for For Women, To Women. She is also the force behind The Essence of Me; where she blogs about all things that catch her attention and sparks a reaction. @Tameeksb // Pitched Entry