1. He wants to study with you…. but he is not currently enrolled in school- Anyone who values time spent with you also respects the value of time spent away from you. Some things are just best done alone. Being around our partners can be quite the distraction when making an attempt to be studious and it’s harder when only one person is actually hitting the books. I once was in a relationship where my college boyfriend stayed away from me during finals week, per his request. The only exception was when he would extend the offer to grab me a late night meal and even then he would refuse to take me up on my offer to stay a while afterward. He even once surprised me by dropping by in the middle of the night (unbeknowest to me) to leave flowers on my car to wish me luck on my morning test. I appreciated him not feeding into any distractions I was attempting to create for myself. Any guy who cares about your progression will do the same!
2. He wants to hang out with you and your friends… On girls night- Ladies night is reserved for the ladies. It is not something that most men want to find themselves around either. The only part of girls night that guys want to be included in is the “after” part. You know, the 3 cocktails and 2 drunk texts at 1 a.m. part. Any other man wanting to be involved more than that is a little too possessive and/or obsessive. Try reminding your guy that you both had lives before each other and that it is healthy to spend some time apart.
3. He shows up to your job unannounced.. And it’s not even your birthday – Ah yes. The classic showing up at the workplace. The one place where you have the least amount of range to react anything but nice. Don’t get me wrong, I like surprises. But quite often our men will do this when growing impatient in their quest to get back in our good graces. It is completely invasive and inappropriate when abused too often. Remind him that dropping by unannounced is a poor reflection of your professionalism. When it comes to work our problems are to be left at the door prior to clocking in.
4. He texts you while he’s out and about with the same consistency as though he were home alone- (cues in Destiny’s Child “Bugaboo”). I love a man who is available to me as much as I am available to him. I am a very considerate woman and a busy one at that, yet I still find time for my guy in the unlikeliest of times. However, I also appreciate a man who continues to live the life he had before me. It only validates that he is not completely vulnerable and it also gives me time to miss him. When your man is texting excessively while he is at work or while he is out with friends at the bar, it should concern you. Tell your guy that you don’t mind him checking up via a little textual healing but that you actually care enough to want him to enjoy himself sans his phone.
5. He does not mind tagging along to the hair salon- Ok, this is the biggest sign that you may have a problem on your hands. I don’t even like going to the hair salon to get my hair done and I don’t know a single woman who does. At the very best, the salon is a haven for petty gossip and all things anti-male. Any guy willing to find himself there has only proven that he really can’t be away from you for long at all. The quickest way to get him out of your hairs might just be to take him for a day and let him experience the madness first hand. If you see he wants to tag along the next time, you may have a completely different problem at bay.
6. Your apartment is now messier than his… Because he never goes home- Wet counter tops, dried toothpaste in the sink and a fort of sneakers at your front door- yep, your beau has officially moved in on you and he brought his bad habits with him. While his space remains spotless, yours teeters along the lines of needing to be quarantined. The best way to get back your space? Well, communication and a request for more time alone is is always an option but you may want to simply start going over to his place and making it a femme-dom. He should get the hint soon afterward.
7. He discourages the idea of “guy time” that you encourage him to have- I do not know a man who doesn’t appreciate some time alone with the fellas. I question the man who doesn’t. If your boyfriend has a good group of comrades that even you have grown to trust and appreciate and he is never up for hanging out with them anymore, it may be a sign that your guy has grown too clingy to you.This will in turn make it difficult for him to understand your request to spend time with your own girlfriends. If you are going through this, make sure you sit your beloved hunny down and remind him that before your romance, he had a “bromance” and it is important that he values the friendships that came before your relationship.
8. He brings his game console to your house- They say the couple that plays together, stays together. Video games are the ultimate therapy for any macho man. Usually best enjoyed in the company of no one or a fellow player, a man’s game console is the heart of his very living room. Unless you are a fellow gamer, there is no reason for your boy-toy to bring his games by unless he is not playing about staying.
9. Friends and family are shocked when you both are NOT seen together- Remember the good ol’ days when your family and friends recognized you without the help of having your other half attached to your hip? Well, it’s one thing to ask “How is John” but it’s another to have to hear “Where is John” each time you’re flying solo. If those you know and love no longer know how to ask about you without asking about him too, it may be time to take the hint and start spending time with your relatives or friends without the help of your tag-along.
10. He comes over when the game is on.. And it’s not to watch the game: Red flag on the play. Red flag on the play! Consider yourself at the point of no return… Or maybe not. As a sports enthusiast (mainly basketball) even I can not be bothered when it’s the playoffs. I know many women who enjoy tuning into football when it’s in season too. Unless you are watching it with me and discussing the game, I see no reason to discuss anything else except for what’s on tv. And if he does… well, God speed!
