Waiting For My Life To Start

I’m sure I’m not the only one to notice the sweep of marriage that has perpetually taken place. A lot of my friends are getting married, and having children – or the other way around.
It seems almost a normal thing to see now. Granted some people go that route in their lives. But not everyone

“Did you see so-and-so got married?”
“Yea, I guess they’re starting their life now”

Wait. What? How is that the start? I’m not going that way. Is my life not going the right way? What about my start?
There was a time when I felt like ‘am I just going to sit here? Am I not going anywhere?”

I was comparing my life to everyone else’s. And more than that, I was mad. Why is marriage and having children the only thing that is deemed life eventful? How come you never hear the same comments about someone who lands that big job they were hoping for? Or someone who moves to another state or country?

Life can’t be limited to that one event. If there’s anything I’ve learned, life is always beginning…over and over again. Even when you think something’s the end, it’s just another beginning.

I truly believe everyone has a soul mate and I look forward to finding mine. And a soul mate isn’t just limited to a partner or someone to have children with- and I do want children one day. But I wouldn’t say I’m waiting for my life to start, I know that’s not where my start is. In fact, my start happened a long time ago. I’m content with where I am now. I’m content with where my last ‘end’ was, and I can’t wait for the next start.

If I sit around and wait for things, I’ll miss all the beauty that’s happening now. I’ll miss the lessons, the new chances that come every day.

Getting married and/or having children are definitely new beginnings, but not the beginning. (at least not for me) the truth is, I don’t know what may happen down the road, but I can’t (and won’t) let myself feel less than – or more than, by the things that do happen -or don’t.

I guess in that time that I was allowing myself to feel insecure, I was afraid. I thought maybe I won’t find the one, or afraid that I wasn’t going to get that start..But that can’t hold me back. I’ve been missing out on the here and now. Chasing my dreams is the one thing that has kept me going, and everything that’s supposed to happen will happen. There’s no right or wrong road, just your road.

Life goes on with you or without you. Be present.

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Tal is a Makeup Artist and Skin Therapist who enjoys the pleasures of sunflowers and tea. She likes to consider the world her home and is always trying to read too many books at the same time. Twitter