What You Accept Is What You Get

With anything in life, what you accept it what you get. How can you ask for more if you’ve continuously settled for less?

This also goes for relationships and that tragic habit we have of placing the blame on others. Funny how the “Miss Independent” Neyo / neo-woman, goes out of her way to stress her financial liberation (that she pays her own bills and copped her own car) yet, can’t seem to make her own self happy.

I find it ironic sometimes that a woman can be quick to claim everything monetary that she made happen for herself, but when it comes to something as free as emotions, she’ll downplay the reason for her depression as being simply that of “his fault”.

We’ve all been guilty of it. Deflecting our own guilt onto that of our man in order to be left, well, “not guilty”.

No one enjoys being the one to blame. Especially when it comes to blaming ourselves for our very own problems, but in actuality- we should do it more often.

Wait- what? Did she really just say that I should start excusing my man for making ME upset?

No.

But I did say this.

As a child, when we touched the stove top while on, we knew better than to ever touch it again. This was an experience for us, and in no way were we at fault for not initially knowing the painful consequences. Now, as adults, to touch a burner while red, knowing red has always meant “hot”, is not anywhere near as excusable. So what I am stressing is that if someone has continued to treat you less than ideally for years on end and has never through their words and/or actions hid what it is (or rather, what it’s NOT), how can you blame them?

Right next to effective communication, the key to our very own happiness within a relationship is humility. We should humble ourselves not by asking if we are to blame for one’s mistakes, but rather, if we are to blame for STAYING. Sometimes by humbling ourselves with the truth, we find ourselves no longer in a relationship. However, that is not always a bad thing. Losing your other half doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve lost yourself. Actually, it might mean that you’ve found yourself and have decided what is no longer good for you.

Give yourself the same amount if not MORE credit than you do others. Many women have this delusion that when it comes to being joyous, a man has the “power of possession” and our emotions. However, how soon we forget about the power we too possess ;)

So don’t view “giving up” as a form of surrender. Instead, consider it to be a form of acceptance. Accept it for what it is, and love it for what it was. And if you find that you are indeed no longer pleased, get out and get happy.

SOJO