“Yea *weird smile*, I have been celibate for going on three years now.”

Seems as if no one knows how to respond when I tell them I practice celibacy. What is the shock? My favorite response?

*eyes opened wide like a deer caught in headlights*
“I don’t know how you do it, GIRL!”

Well, I do it and it is far from difficult. Ugh. Please don’t even get me started on the way the guys respond — excuse me, I mean boys because any guy who attaches a negative statement or let’s out an obnoxious laugh is A BOY!

I am a lover, as hard as I might try to keep my heart heavily guarded and walk around like a tough girl, I am a sucker for love…real love that is. As I have been growing, I stopped looking at sex as something humans engage in. Instead as I’ve been growing I have a new take on the meaning of sex with another. Currently, in my 20-something world, sex connects me to someone emotionally and mentally. I found when I engaged in meaningless sex, I did not feel that “happiness” or “glow” for that matter that everyone talks about. I refuse to engage in something so special as having sexual intercourse with a guy who I know for a fact is just making sure he is satisfied for the moment, a guy who is just adding another name to his “Girls I’ve “hit” list”, and for damn sure I refuse to lay in bed with someone other than my boyfriend (whenever he comes). Of course like most young adult women, I went through the phase of having sexual escapades with guys just because well, thats it…just because. However, as I am growing I am beginning to see there is more to laying down with a man mentally and emotionally than just “zoin it” (in my best Wendy Williams voice).

So here is my advice, *F WORD* to what anyone else thinks about you practicing celibacy !

Celibacy should not be something you are going to practice to be “different” amongst the many girls your new guy used to date. Nor should you practice celibacy because your best friend, friend, family member or co-worker is practicing. You should practice celibacy because it is something YOU want to do, something in which you feel can help you get yourself together. Let’s all be real, GOOD sex can throw us off…it is like eating that one chip we have been craving. The first chip was so good why not continue to dig in the bag? (Damn, there goes that guilty feeling). So with sex, it is no different. He was so good so why not keep ‘zoin it’ with him? Although you know this boy ain’t no damn good!

So please, when we announce to you we are celibate we do not need your negativity. Let us get ourselves together mentally, spiritually, physically and most importantly sexually. Especially in this new dating generation!

Liandra, (Instagram)