Just based off meeting a guy for the first time, there is a physical attraction that is sparked. That happens way before you know his name, find out his age, and get a sneak peek of his personality. Your eyes focus on what you see in this man: the tattoos drawn on his arms, the type of clothing he has on, and his interaction with his friends. And if you decide to approach him that night or make conversation as he makes his way over to you, it will solely be based on the power of physical attraction. Hopefully, months down the line a relationship can be created way beyond the physical connection. Things become way more serious, future plans are discussed, make out sessions become longer and more revealing. As a woman, you tease your mate, just enough to keep him wondering. But you know sooner or later, sex is going to become apart of your relationship. The question is, “When is the right time to have sex?”

A woman always tries to set a time limit when it comes to sex. It is no longer a private and intimate interaction. It’s more of an open book or public conversation. It is talked about freely, shared on television shows, and not really taken as a big deal.

We overanalyze how a guy will react, the day that we decide to give him a part of ourselves. Holding off can show him how much you respect your body and the relationship. A man does not want to be with a woman that “every other” man has had a piece of. But being realistic, in the year of 2014, who waits anymore? And if you do decide to wait, are you frowned upon?

Does the guy still think of that interaction as a special moment shared between each other? Has it become so easy for a guy to nut, pull up his pants, and walk out the door? Or has woman made it easier for a man to get whatever he wants? Has woman shoved her emotions unto a man hoping that he’ll be the one to save her, once she sleeps with him? And are there guys out there that still wait until wedding night, to enter into a woman?

Those questions are only a few, where I actually become clueless. Each gender has such a different perspective on sex that it makes it seem like it would be impossible to agree on.

Anyway, back to some key points.

By holding out on sex, you get to have a stronger connection through everything that happens in the relationship. It is possible to have a successful relationship without a sexual interaction, but you’ll still think about it from time to time. I do believe that it can show a guy how much you respect your body by not giving in so fast, and it creates a sense of mystery about the woman. Because he does not actually know how it is to be with you sexually, he’s going to desire it a little bit more. But holding out can also make you think if he’s not getting it from you, that your connection isn’t strong enough and he may stray elsewhere.

When I brought this up to a few girlfriends, I got an overall amount of mixed emotions. Not that it is hard to actually put a time limit, but when you are so attracted to someone, you want to show them. Most of my girlfriends are ready to be married, so waiting as long as they can for the “right” one is more rewarding. But I know girlfriends that have had sex on the first date, and still have a successful relationship with their men.

So that makes me wonder, does a time limit really matter when referring to sex? Are there a different set of rules for each guy you mess with? Or should the same rules apply to any type of guy?

Devika