Why I Left University
My Experience At University I thought it would be a good idea to write down exactly what happened to me at university and why I left – not only for my records but perhaps for others as well. I know that a lot of people go through what I went through so hopefully this helps.
I’ll start with the background. At college I studied Spanish, History and Philosophy at A2 level. When I was initially making my university course choices, I knew that in an ideal world I would have loved to study Philosophy. However, despite my love for the subject I ignored it, and decided to try to do a languages degree. I thought that in the long run it would be better for me to help me to stand out. I eventually wanted to get into Law, but I didn’t want to go down the straight law route, and not many universities offered Spanish and Law joint honours courses starting in September 2013. I ended up deciding to do a single honours Spanish degree.
The night before results day I became very anxious that I wasn’t going to get the A that I needed in Spanish to get in so I started looking through the clearing options. A course caught my eye. It was Spanish and Beginner’s Portuguese (joint honours) at Nottingham University. As it happens, I did get my A, and was accepted into both my firm choice. However, I knew even from before the summer that I didn’t want to go to there, and the course at Nottingham really caught my eye. After some careful consideration and talks with my parents we decided to go for the course in Nottingham for several reasons but I won’t bore you with those details.
In September I arrived at the university, moved in and got settled. When the craziness of Fresher’s week was over, I settled into my course, made new friends etc. After a few weeks, I started to realise that I was not enjoying my course at all. We had very strange lectures – for example, Lusophone societies which was a two hour lecture about various aspects of Portuguese culture. I would sit for the whole two hours and come out not having learnt a thing. I kept thinking to myself – why am I here? How is learning about Samba going to help me?
You have to understand this was very strange for me. Throughout my entire life education had been so important and I’d loved learning. Suddenly I didn’t want to go in to my lectures and I wasn’t doing my work. It was also affecting me personally. My attitude changed, I was distant from the friends that I grew up with, I didn’t want to speak to my parents, and all my priorities were shuffled around. I wanted to go out all the time just so I could pretend that I was enjoying myself, but I wasn’t at all happy.
I was very lucky that I met a few people who I became very close to very quickly because I was able to confide in them and tell them how I was feeling. But what about those people who didn’t make friends? When I read those horror stories about people who get really depressed and harm themselves at university I can honestly say I know why. They feel trapped and they don’t know who to speak to – I was fortunate enough to have people around me who could support me.
It got to about November and I just could not take it anymore. Everyone around me was starting to knuckle down and really get stuck in to their courses and I was so jealous. I wanted to study what I loved. It got to a point where I was in tears almost every night – I just wanted to go home. When I finally reached the point where I was so stressed that I was throwing up, I knew I had to leave. At long last I made the decision to tell my friends from back home. They were shocked and couldn’t believe it, but they said that they knew how much I’d changed. I had become a completely different person.
About a week later I finally got the confidence to tell my parents. That’s when hell really broke loose. You have to understand that education is very important in my family. There seems to be a certain level of pride that comes with having a child in university. Parents want to be able to brag about their children right? I didn’t want to disappoint them but I couldn’t stay there any longer. We fought almost every day. Every time my mum or dad’s number would come up on my phone I’d get worried sick. They tried to convince me to stay, and argued that I made the decision so I had to stick with it. It was awful.
However, after about a week and a half they finally calmed down and realised that I was being serious. Then came the second problem – what to do next. I knew I wanted to transfer to Philosophy so I went to speak to the Humanities department. After a lot of back and forth discussion they finally told me that the only way for me to transfer would be to come back in September 2014. They told me that they would love to have me in their department as my passion was obvious, but that I wouldn’t have had enough credits to graduate if I transferred immediately and started in January. The next step was trying to break that to my parents. All hell broke loose again as they didn’t want to see me waste a year, especially as I am one of the oldest in my year already. My argument was that age didn’t matter and that I’d find a way to make the rest of the year count. They still argued and even tried to come to speak to the department themselves. Finally, just before Christmas, they accepted the situation.
There was so much pressure on me but I knew I had to find a way to make it work. I searched for hours on end every single day for placements, internships and apprenticeships – something! Finally I got an interview for a job in a local solicitors’. I started there immediately, and was about to start working for a charity also, when I received an email about a possible opportunity in an international law firm. A key thing to note is that it was all as a result of the networks I had made during those few weeks that I received the email. Networking is so important. Make sure that you maintain good relationships with people and always look out for ways to improve and expand your networks.
I worked so hard in preparation for my interview, which lasted an hour and a half. When I finally got the job I was over the moon – the joy I felt can’t even be put into words. I was finally making my parents proud. I was asked to move to a different city for the job, and so I immediately started looking for a flat. It was so daunting, not only going from working in a small office to a multi-storey building, but also going from living in a quiet town to a big city. I’ve now been working for about 4 months and I love it. Leaving university was the best decision I have ever made. I have become so much more independent, mature and happy. I’m still going back to university, but the experience that I am gaining now is invaluable.
Just a few things I think everyone should take from this:
1. If you’re not happy with what you’re doing, change your situation to make yourself happy.
2. Take your life into your own hands. Don’t live for other people. If I had, I would probably still be at university.
3. Don’t be scared to make big decisions. Live your life and enjoy it.
4. Take advantage of EVERY opportunity that you can get your hands on, especially while you’re young. There are so many things to do whilst you’re at university – open your eyes to them.
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