I’m Not Shy. I Just Don’t Want To Talk.

I’m shy sometimes and self-conscious often, but I wouldn’t say that I’m a shy person overall. Not anymore. There’s a huge difference between being shy and being quiet.

Shyness is about fear. Quiet, however, is about instinct. Some of us are just naturally reflective and internal.

When I am quiet, I can process what I am seeing, hearing, and feeling. There was a time when my life was so filled with noise and chaos that I couldn’t hear myself think. Most of what was swimming around in my head came from other people. I was always frantic. I had to go, go, go. Catch me if you can. When it was time to be still, I had to be high. That was how I coped with silence. I was too afraid to face it head on. Too afraid to face myself.

Since we all must deal with fear on some level, there comes a time when we must discern between the fear that can push us forward and the fear that can hold us back. The answers are already there inside of us if we only listen. It’s called intuition.

But how can you allow your intuition to guide you if you are never still or quiet long enough to hear it?

Do you ever feel pressured to talk more than what feels natural? Have you ever been made to feel like you are being selfish or anti-social because you want to be alone? When you don’t understand your need for solitude, these kinds of generalizations make you question yourself.

I used to feel inadequate when people would call me too quiet and dismiss me for not having more to say. It made me feel uninteresting. Now that I’ve learned to trust myself, I’ve noticed that I can be quite a blabber mouth when I’m talking to someone who makes me feel comfortable, particularly if we are talking about something I love. I mean, I can’t shut up. Sometimes after conversations like this I feel bad because I feel like I was talking way too much and dominating the conversation.

(Do you do that? After you’ve been out socializing or talking on the phone, do you review everything that happened and what was said and overanalyze all of it? Yeah, me too.)

Lately I don’t mind if people make comments about me being so quiet or having nothing to say because I trust my gut feelings about who to open up to and when. If I feel that the people around me are not on my wavelength, then you can best believe that I won’t say much. Alice Walker said, “She was so quiet. So reflective. And she could erase herself, her spirit, with a swiftness that truly startled, when she knew the people around her could not respect it.”

Don’t let anyone shame you about being quiet. Do what you need to do to preserve your energy in the midst of life’s social demands. If you’re at a party and you need to step away to be alone for a few minutes, then do so. If you need to choose one out of three possible social engagements for the week, that’s fine, don’t over extend yourself.

But don’t hide yourself either.

A quiet personality is not a limitation, but if you want to be heard then you must wholeheartedly believe in what you have to say. Use your private time to soul search and find confidence in being different. Embrace your quiet but don’t silence your magic.

GG is an independent author, a life coach, a feeler and an overthinker.  She writes for the crazy beautiful complex free creative inspired love drunk woman who relishes her quiet time and believes in miracles.  Blog // Twitter // Instagram