Everyone has a different interpretation of the word sexy. For years, I thought sexy was having a big ol’ booty, boobs and beautiful wide hips..let’s not forget a slim waist. My perception of sexy was keeping me from living life. About 3 summers ago I was invited to this pool party, I was so damn excited I had a brand new bathing suit and well it was summer in NYC who wouldn’t be exited?! As I am getting dressed I walked passed my mirror in my bathing suit and realized , “I look like a damn 12 year old.” *rolls eyes*

See all my life I have been extremely slim, I’m talking about the fact that people think I starve myself or have an eating disorder “slim”. My friends and co-workers will tell you I eat as if food was going to be removed from my sight within a second. So, I called up one of my friends to tell her how unsexy I felt in a bathing suit. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: I cannot go to this pool party
Friend: Why not?
Me: All those girls there are going to look beautiful in their bathing suits, then I’m going to show up like “hey guys *nerdy wave*
Friend: *she lets out an obnoxious yet “girl please stop your nonsense laugh*  Oh, please Liandra. You and YOUR body is fine, if you don’t get up and go to that pool party.
Me: Okay.
I lied to her ya’ll. I called the person up and made some dumb excuse as to why I cannot go to the pool party…then added “have fun for me girl.” 
See, this was during a time when social media, ass shots and curves were glamorized (it still may be but you know I finally stopped paying attention to it haha). I thought in order to be considered sexy I had to look like a Kardashian (Khloe preferably) in my body-con dresses and skirts. I had to look like Draya from Basketball Wives LA in my bathing suits and I had to mimic Jessica Rabbit’s flirting techniques around guys.
A year after…

One of my friends stormed into my dorm room and said “I need you guys to teach me how to be sexy”  to my other friends (Oh,she must have known I was not “sexy” lol). My friend responded with what I thought was the potential best self realization line of my life. “I cannot teach you to be sexy for a guy. Your boyfriend would think you are sexy no matter what you do.”

I bet you guys think my friend said “you know what you are right Devika”. Not at all. Homegirl proceeded to show us the “moves” she will be doing on her boyfriend and just how unsexy they were. After all the laughs and after the day had passed she came back to us and said, “He thought I was sexy even though I was so awkward.” Well..duh. I can tell you guys this, she never gave up because the year after we had to go through it again with her.

See, during this time I too thought like her. I thought I always had to dress in provocative clothing, bat my eyelashes, and dance a certain way in a club, lounge, party or whatever. At 22, I have realized everyone is sexy in their own right. I feel “sexy” when I am being myself in front of a guy (you know not giving one crap, two craps or three craps on whether or not what I have just said or did will turn him off) because well, there is a guy out there somewhere who will think I am sexy in my boyfriend jeans, button up, and heels just being Liandra and not someone or everyone else’s “sexy”.
You know how I know he will think I am sexy ? Because I think know I am sexy in clothes that are less than “sexy” and because Ithink know I am sexy just being my damn self!
 
“Those who shine from within need no spotlight” – Unknown
 You got that right! My personality and unique style is my sexy shining from within!

Liandra, (Instagram)