I don’t quite remember the month and day, but the year was 2003 and the season was summer. I had just graduated from college, gotten my first and only tattoo and car, transitioned from part-time to full-time employee and felt like a true grown-up. So, I was hanging out a lot, spending my graduation cash on gas and a lot of outdoor music events, staying out late and enjoying sweet kisses from the lovely sun. I went to one music event at the forest preserve-my friend was grilling, I was meeting new people and running into people from my past and sneaking little bites of the burgers, hot dogs and ribs in between dancing to house music, r & b, and a few hip hop songs and laughing hysterically at really funny jokes, really bad jokes and really bad attire.

As I engaged in a conversation with my friend, during my dancing and eating breaks, I began telling a story about my work day in which I quoted a few expletives that had been spewed by my coworker. Unbeknownst to me, a guy sitting on the other side of me was disgusted with the foul words I repeated. He politely interrupted my story with “Excuse me,” looked at me with disapproval and said, “Girl, stop cursing! That is not ladylike.” I remember that incident like it happened yesterday although it happened 11 years ago.

I’m not going to deny the occasional S-bomb and F-bomb that comes out of my mouth especially when I am driving. And, as soon as the foul words leave my mouth, I immediately think about that gentleman who called me out on my sour language at the forest preserve. So, I stop my curse filled rant and find a nicer way to express my frustration about the horrid traffic and crazy drivers e.g. “This traffic is messed up!” or “This traffic is extremely terrible!” instead of “This traffic is ‘F-bomb’ up!” or “This traffic is pure bull(S-bomb)!” I presume if it isn’t ladylike to say swear words, then I shouldn’t write them either.

So, imagine my surprise a few months ago when I stumbled upon proper etiquette rules every lady should follow-The Rules of a Lady-while searching winter activities on Pinterest. And, yes, one of the Rules of a Lady is no cursing. I smiled and wondered if that stranger, you know the one from the forest preserve, had compiled the list of Rules For A Lady based on my poor behavior. I bow my head in shame. Here is a list of my favorite Rules of a Lady.

Rule #3 of a Lady: Always accept a compliment.
Rule #16 of a Lady: For the love of decency, never chew with your mouth open.
Rule #32 of a Lady: Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you’re a lady.
Rule #56 of a Lady: It’s okay not to be okay.
Rule #58 of a Lady: Beauty gets the attention, but personality gets the heart.
Rule #86 of a Lady: A lady should not swear. Class is defined as elegance and dignity, not by vulgar language.
Rule #89 of a Lady: Just because someone invites you to drama does not mean you have to RSVP.
Rule #115 of a Lady: Your smile is the sexiest curve on your entire body.
Rule #118 of a Lady: If there is anything a lady should blow, it should be his mind.
Rule #132 of a Lady: Humility is one of the most beautiful traits a lady should have.
Rule #137 of a Lady: There’s only one thing ladies should be inserting in themselves and that’s knowledge.
Rule #148 of a Lady: Let your past make you better, not bitter.
Rule #154 of a Lady: Never let people get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun.
Rule #157 of a Lady: Choose who you open up to wisely. Only a few actually care, the rest are just curious.
Rule #170 of a Lady: What Suzie says of Sally says more of Suzie than Sally.
Rule #173 of a Lady: If you have to keep wondering where you stand with someone, maybe it’s time you stop standing and start walking.
Rule #174 of a Lady: When in a relationship, do not ever forget about your friends.
Rule #226 of a Lady: Sometimes the person you want the most is also the person you’re best without.

Latrie Simone
Pitched Entry