Can Men And Women Really Just Be Friends?

I find myself constantly pondering the age old question: can men and women really be just friends?

In high school I loudly and proudly told anyone who would listen that yes, guys and girls can be just friends. Because I have had a male best friend.

Now I’m not so sure. I mean when I think back the only reason we even became friends was because he wanted something; more than a friendship, less than a relationship. But I wasn’t having it, stuck that guy right in the good ol’ friend zone. He was a funny storyteller and you could get lost just listening to him. I was just trying to be a good friend.

Years into our friendship and you’re comfortable. You let him slip under your guard. You trust him. You tell him everything, even about the other guys you might’ve met in college. And sometimes you wonder how little you know about him and his female endeavors. Why he never tells you about it you don’t know…but maybe it’s because you never ask. You don’t really care. That’s his business. But why does he always ask about me then?

You ignore your own instincts. He doesn’t want anything, we’re just friends. He knows that. But it’s like he never forgot what he was after. Or maybe he’s still just a warm-blooded man. Always kept trying. And sometimes over the years you slip up because you feel bad and don’t want to be a rude friend. You don’t want to hurt his feelings. A tap kiss here. A make out there. A little of this…a little of that. You ignore his fist pumps after.

You tell yourself it’s because you’re comfortable with him, so why not use it to both of your advantages? You were curious about sexual things but you don’t let anyone past your guard to try things with. Coincidentally you happen to have a friend of the male species who somehow managed to hack that steel guard of yours with the fingerprint recognition and all that. So why not, right? 

But you draw the line. You make it clear you don’t want to have sex because that changes everything.

And then you get high and cross the line. And nothing was ever the same.

You come over like you used to, expecting a chill day. You talk, like you used to. You smoke, like you used to. You watch TV, like you used to. And then he gets touchy.
No.
Why not?
I don’t want to. I just came to chill.
But we already did it.
So?
But he keeps trying.
Why doesn’t he give up?!
He keeps trying and damnit you get so worked up. And you give in a second time.

You tell yourself there won’t be a third. Something’s up (no pun intended). Something’s different. Neither of you are on the same page, like you used to be.

He thinks that you’re his personal blow up doll. I mean, you gave it up already right? He can just call you up and you’ll come over and you’ll end up having sex. And he didn’t even have to take you to a movie first. He just has to pester you for an hour and half. Piece of cake. (No pun intended).

But what happened to just being friends? The friends I have don’t grab my ass because they’re horny. The friends I have don’t stay single even though they’re a hopeless romantic searching for love. You know him too well.

It seems the security system from that guard of yours has finally caught the glitch. And now you’re on automatic shutdown. Why does he always hit me up first? Why does he cuddle with you in front of all your friends? Why is he single when he knows he loves love?

You’re panicking, you need space. Yeah, everybody always said you liked each other, but you always knew that wasn’t the case for you. It just wasn’t like that. We’re just friends! But are you really? What kinds of friends have sex? The good kind?

No. The good kinds of friends don’t take advantage of your comfort. They don’t suggest you get drunk with them when they want to come over, and then not come over because you don’t want to get drunk. Especially when they know you lost your virginity when you were drunk and can’t remember the whole damn thing. The good kind come anyway because they just want to chill with you. But I guess that’s not enough anymore.

We don’t talk like we used to. It’s different. So no, I don’t think men and women can be just friends. Someone’s always bound to want more. Whether it’s a relationship or sex, we get greedy and someone always wants more.

And I’m left wondering where my friend went.

Cat
Pitched Entry