21 And Up Club: The Invitation Rulebook

I T S I N V I T A T I O N S E A S O N ! Now that the self-promises of the New Year have finally become faux pas, it’s time to start creating our own reasons to celebrate! From birthdays and baby showers, to engagement parties and mixers, the sky is the limit and there is just no telling what you’ll be invited to next! But when an invitation graces the top of your bank statements and weekly coupons, what is proper etiquette to follow? I love your mom and all, but she may have never taught you the importance of punctuality and following proper procedures when it comes to invitations. So let’s jump right into it! I call today’s cheatsheet:The Invitation Rulebook.
“You’ve been invited to my Wedding!”, the invitation proclaims loudly in the form of calligraphy and intricate letter press. Now the questions start to roll, “what will I wear?”, “who will I go with?”, “what will I bring?”, “will I even go”? All valid questions that must be answered before taking the final leap. The most important parts of the invitation are time, number of guest per invite, RSVP and dress code. When first receiving an invitation it is important to immediately schedule it on at least two different calendars. My preferences: My iPhone and my planner. I schedule one reminder for the day of the event, and one reminder two weeks prior to that day, that way I don’t forget about it. The next thing is to figure out the chances of whether or not you’ll be able to attend. If you know without a shadow of a doubt that you can attend then it’s okay to RSVP right away, but if you still are unsure and know of a few factors that can prevent you from going, it’s best to wait it out so you don’t have to take back your RSVP- which is essentially an inconvenience to your hostess. Be sure to also lock in the RSVP deadline into your calendar(s) and to only RSVP with confidence! Oh, and hostesses, always remember, if a person declines two or more invitations, you’re welcome to not invite them to any more gatherings. Etiquette says so.

It is considered rude to leave the host without an RSVP response, so it is important to respond as soon as possible before the date requested. If you know for sure that you won’t be able to attend, you should still, “regretfully decline” that way the host can send out invitations to individuals on his/her back up list or alert those involved in the planning or production of the event. If you do plan on going be very clear and honest about the number of guests you wish to bring that way the hostess can have an ample amount of time to make the necessary adjustments or to contact you in the event that your invite only calls for a specific amount of guests. If you fail to do so, you can’t be mad if you’re date has to sit at a table on the other side of room at a table full of beautiful women =P. Lastly, it is important to only communicate with the individual listed on the invitation, if any. A host may allocate someone to handle particular elements of the event, in order to focus on other areas. Please respect the hostess’s request and decision to do so by following all of the instructions listed within the invitation. RSVP with the person assigned, RSVP in the way that the invitation asks you to, and RSVP truthfully and confidently.

It is proper etiquette to be punctual for gatherings that have a dignified start time with a concrete schedule or program. If there is a listing of events, plan to be there thirty minutes early, that way you arrive early or on time. If there isn’t a set schedule or program, i.e. a BBQ, then it’s okay to be a little late – but use your discretion as you don’t want to offend the hostess. It is also proper etiquette to bring a gift for the hostess. This can come in the form of a bottle of wine or a gift off of a registry, but it is always a great gesture to show your appreciation in the form of a tangible gift. Traditional etiquette also states that it is rude to arrive out of dress code or to arrive looking better than the hostess. Now, before you cross your arms, roll your eyes, and say things like, “It’s not my fault she can’t dress”, let me explain this point further. If the event calls for everyone to wear all white, for example, it is important to follow suit because if you don’t you are purposely taking attention away from the hostess. As a guest you aren’t there to be the center of attention but instead are there as a celebrant of his/hers occassion. The same goes with the idea of “not looking better than the hostess”. This isn’t to say that you have to come in your worst but it is to say that if the bride is wearing a wedding gown, you shouldn’t arrive in a white ball gown. Again, this takes attention away from the host which is deemed as being rude. Now if you follow all of he rules, and get all of the attention.. you have done nothing wrong ;]. Lastly, don’t forget to enjoy the event. You’ll make your host happy if you are willing to participate in the festivities and you’ll up your chance of being invited to the next event.

Throw some glitter, make it rain.

Kimberly