She called me at almost 3 in the morning, while I sat on the other line with him. The first time, I didn’t even bother to recite the number to him. I knew this was coming. We bickered about whether I would answer it or not. I voted no, he voted yes. The second time a few seconds after the first was the tie breaker. I clicked over. She wanted to know the extent of our “relationship”. She wanted answers that he wouldn’t give her; answers that he kept lying about because the truth would hurt her.

“We only texted here and there.” (Try all day, everyday)
“I only hung with her once or twice.” (A definite lie)
“Maybe more. We went to bars, restaurants and the movies a few times.” (He was getting warmer)
“We never had sex.” (Now this was bullshit)
“We had sex.” (Mhm)

I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. She kept pulling the “woman to woman” card. I stared at the time on the cable box. I couldn’t believe this is what my life has come to. What was I suppose to say? “Hey fellow sista, I hate that you had to find out like this but me & your boyfriend has had a thing going on for well over a year.” How would she want me to explain this thing? Would she want me to tell her how his hands felt on my waist when he pulled me in for a kiss? Or how we frequented movie theaters and restaurants around the city? How he cooked me breakfast after nights of passion? How he drove two hours after a 9-hour shift to help me move? The moment he started to tell me he loved me? How exactly do I explain any of this to her? There was a part of me that wanted to tell her everything to lift the weight off my shoulders. I thought back to one of our lunch dates when he said he was thinking about telling her what’s been going on. He said the lies were beginning to frustrate him and I figured this happening was the perfect opportunity for him to come clean. As she waited for my answers, the part of me that felt I didn’t owe her an explanation won. I went along with whatever story he told her.

Two days went by before I received a text message from her. A day after he told me once again, that we were over. I’m not sure if he was trying to convince me or himself. I’m not sure why she kept contacting me. I’m not sure why every day since he ended it the first time; he still managed to call me. Screenshots sat in my messages of him telling her I didn’t mean anything. His list of lies continued and she somehow felt the urge to let me know. She wanted to tell me I could never be her and that he would always love her. She boasted that even if he and I got serious, she could come back in at any time and ruin it. She let me know that I’ll always be the “side chick.”

So much for “woman to woman”.

She was out for blood, this time. Cool. I wanted her to know I never wanted to be her. Their relationship didn’t intimidate me. She was never a factor to me in a relationship he didn’t respect. I watched him lie to her with a straight face on multiple occasions. I never wanted her role. I wanted her to know it didn’t matter what lies he told her to keep the peace, his lips told a different tale when they were planted on my body. I wanted her to know being able to come back wouldn’t change the time and feelings he developed for me. His lies about us were an act of betrayal, but I think she forgot he betrayed her as well. He deemed me as “insignificant”, but after I sent him her text messages he sat on the phone with me while I tried to compose myself. I was furious. He played both sides to keep both parties at peace, but for some reason I thought he was man enough to own up to what he did. He had no sense of loyalty, not even to himself.

He continued to convince me he didn’t mean it. That night, his voice barely audible, he told me everything happens for a reason and the only reason he wanted it to work was because of the years invested.

And I guess those years were more than enough because they’re working it out.

Tashay
Pitched Entry