1. Skydiving
  2. Host 2 Events
  3. Grocery Shop at the Grocery Store down the street
  4. Take a gym class at a very popular gym
  5. Travel on my own for the weekend
  6. Attend an afterwork event in NYC
  7. Pitch an idea
  8. Party TWICE in NYC
  9. Take a 30 minute walk at a park
  10. Make a Friend

This is the list I made for myself at the beginning of April because I grew extremely tired of being afraid of my surroundings. I know I have mentioned it before to some, but I’ve never truly gone into depth about it. I have Social Anxiety. It’s probably a few steps below severe, but it’s as active as ever. It only appears sometimes, but when it does, my God… it’s full blown. But here’s the catch… it’s only in New York, where I live, the place I’m trying to call home. You may laugh, but I have tested this out… multiple times actually. Once I leave the state I’m regular charming Yetti, that’ll go to the mall on her own, the gym on her own, maybe even take a walk or go to a bar. But in this city, if it’s not for work or something that’s a mandatory part of my routine… I will not leave the house without a lot of convincing, a prayer, and possibly a friend.

For example, little secret. If I did not invite a bunch of people over for my birthday, I probably wouldn’t have even celebrated it. I made arrangements so late, didn’t plan on an outfit…that’s how badly I didn’t even want to leave my damn apartment. Even for “Yettember”, my month long birthday celebration. I’m not much of a “partier”, I don’t drink, but I like to dance. But in order to dance… I need to leave the house. But I don’t really want to leave my apartment. Are you seeing the irrational dilemma here?

So I came up with this list, yes, yes, a list. A list of things that I am going to complete by the end of May. A list of things that seem so simple and natural to you all, but cause me panic attacks and have me break out into a sweat. I’m going to complete them by May, because I am tired of not fully enjoying life and the place I’m supposed to be calling home. I’m taking things into my hands and I’m conquering this issue, one task at a time.

Yetti