Before you hit me with the side eye, hear me out.

We stopped “talking” about three months ago, technically about five months ago since that was when we started having problems, (a time I later found out was when he started cheating). Is it considered cheating when you are not officially a couple but you decided to be exclusive? Yea, I think so. At least that’s what I’m telling myself and I’m sticking to it.

We went our separate ways. For two people that were never “officially” a couple, we sure did break up a lot. But this time, I just had a feeling that it was really over. I was mad and he saw me vulnerable. He saw the jealous, vulnerable girl I’ve desperately tried not to show him for the 16 months we were whatever you choose to call it. I hated more than anything that he saw me that way.

Well, a few days ago, I went out with my girlfriends and I might have had a little too much to drink and I happened to run into the “other” girl, more like she ran into me (literally). My friends and I were pretty upset. In the heat of the moment, she almost got the the little hair she had left on her half-shaved head snatched away (of course, not by me. She’s over 6ft). For some reason, I ended up being the reasonable one, calming my friends down. I knew she wasn’t worth it and at the end of the day, the rational me knew she was not the one I had a problem with. I texted him while sitting in traffic at 3am (thanks to Texas relays) and said some very unkind words I never got a chance to say when I hurriedly ran out of his room three months ago.

During this conversation, he calls his relationship with the half-shaved head girl nothing (oh), forced, and apparently he wants me back. He also claims that what we had or didn’t have was more of a relationship than his current relationship (uhh huh). Apparently we were in a relationship and the only thing we didn’t have was a “title” (everyone loves titles) and then he pours his heart out: something he never did during the 16 months we “talked”. A part of me forgot my own anger and pain, and I started feeling sorry for him. Like many black males out there, he is broken and I happen to be one of the “captain-save-a-broken-hoe” out there.

I swore I don’t want anything to do with this human with an XY chromosome but it’s hard to ignore a guy that you shared so much of your life with as he cries his eyes out while pouring his heart out.

Jully
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