This generation is so lost when it comes to so many things, dating and relationships being one of them. The men in my life, friends and family members alike, are wonderful examples of a man’s role in relationship. It’s because of them that I’m optimistic about one day meeting my king. In conversations with girlfriends, I often take the side of viewing good men in abundance. I truly believe that good men are walking this planet. However, I recognize that a good man or a good woman is not a universal term for ‘fit for all’.

Being single has allowed me to get to know, work on, and build myself. In my alone time, I am able to connect with who I am as a woman on a deeper level. Naturally during this time, I have the opportunity to meet and explore different personalities, which makes it easier to decipher what I do and don’t want in a potential mate. I am perfectly fine with being single for now, but there are just some things I don’t understand about how people approach dating situations. Quite frankly, I didn’t always have standards and that put me in trashy situations with men. Before I was willing to compromise and give myself to anyone who said I was pretty. Thank God I’ve chosen to BE the standard from here on out. Call it high maintenance, but at this point, I refuse to settle because I know my worth.

Although I’m not one to give people a hard time, there are a few ways to deal with me for a person who has taken interest, or rather how I feel a man should treat any woman:

● I am a lady. Treat me as such. Do not obnoxiously hunk your horn and expect me to run outside when we getting ready to go out.
● Be yourself on the first date, so I’ll feel comfortable reciprocating that authenticity. Women have this weird ability to see through b.s.
● Don’t spend all your life savings trying to impress me, because it won’t work (flashy is not really my thing).
● Let things flow naturally. For example, the 21 questions thing is a middle school game. The more we talk, the more you listen, the more we spend time together, the more myself will be revealed. Simple.
● If you really like me, show me.
● Respect me by being completely honest. If it’s casual, say so, just know that it won’t go beyond friendship unless it’s intended for us to work out differently.
● You will never get to know the real me strictly through Texting, Tweeting, and liking my IG pictures and technology will never replace the intimacy of phone calls and quality time.
● No, I will not come over to “chill” with you after 9pm.
● If we reach the point where we are in a committed relationship, I will work through the hard times and be the best woman I can be. No one is perfect, but (sorry) I will not take you back if you cheat on or constantly lie to me.
● If you’re not my boyfriend, don’t expect the benefits of being one.
I could go on and on, but for the sake of not putting the complete blueprint to my heart on my blog, I digress. The point is pretty clear, right? I take all relationships seriously. And even though I know every guy I come across won’t be my husband, I still think the rules to dating still apply. It’s just a respect principle. The ones that fail to understand this aren’t typically the ones who hold my interest for long. Or am I the one unconsciously doing something wrong here?

Maybe I’m just too old fashioned for these new school shenanigans.

What are your thoughts?

Chymere
transferred over from the old From A Wildflower, Femmes With Benefits.