The Jeans

I’m 5’3 and I weigh about 113 pounds hmmm give or take. I have insecurities about my body frame. Now while most wish they could be my size, I wish that I could be theirs. A little thick cutie with a big booty but I’ll keep my pretty brown skin tone…#teamlightskin is for the birds. Oh, did I offend you? I’m sorry about that, it’s just that other bitter side of me.

I’ve been this size since I can remember and for as long as I can remember I’ve been picked on from time to time by the females and overlooked by the fellas. Yea, your girl got no play in high school when it came to relationships but I was always the cool friend that you can come and talk to about your girl problems while I pretend to sit there and listen and wish you were with me instead. Ehhh…I guess that’s what good friends are for. Shopping for clothes was always a pain and BabyPhat was my arch enemy. All the thick chicks wore their stuff, especially the jeans when the little cat on the back. That cat to me always brought attention towards the cat and the phat ass in those jeans. As for me, I just stuck to the shirts and the jackets.

I was working at TJMaxx then and we always had first dibbs on the clothes before we put them out on the sales floor and sure enough we had BabyPhat in stock. There were these jeans that were so cute and so tempting that I just had to try them on…. so I did. For about five minutes I looked at myself in the mirror. Just stood there and looked. I began to realize how really insecure I was — and it was because of that pair of jeans. I couldn’t help but smile and think the world of those jeans and how they fit my cute, small frame. If I wouldn’t have known better my head was getting a little big. I took the jeans off and bought them before we closed out that night. With a little bit of excitement I couldn’t wait to wear these jeans and show that skinny girls myself do have frames.

I woke up that morning with anticipation and some more self confidence determined that I have a point to prove. I went to school with a mission in mind. I was in homeroom that morning and it seemed that no one noticed me until I got up to use the restroom. I returned to the class to hear comments like “girl, why are you wearing BabyPhat? you ain’t go no booty!” A group of girls laughed. I froze. I let them taunt me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to run out the classroom but my body couldn’t move at all. I just stood there. The bell rung for me to go to first period, but as everyone left I continued to stand there. “Imma need for you to take those jeans off, it ain’t working for you boo,” one of the girls said when she left the classroom. All my insecurities came right back and all I wanted to do was take off these stupid jeans. I began to cry. Death to those jeans I cursed. Luckily I kept the receipt and returned the jeans later that day after school.

“What’s wrong with the jeans?” my manager asked.

Still a little red-eyed, I replied: “They just didn’t fit right.”

Valla

Image Source: Vogue Paris April 2014, Photographer: Mario Testino, Stylist: Emmanuelle Alt, Model: Malaika Firth