I Should Probably Give My Life To God, But I’m Afraid To
My emotions and gut feelings typically surface when I am going through the toughest moments of my life — you know those wrecking moments that often change you for the better in the end. It’s easier for me to express these moments through writing. I have come to a realization that I am no good at handling the fact that I need to separate myself from a person I love and care about deeply. It’s time for detachment to occur.
Why would I do such a thing? Why would I even want to do that if I love that person so much? Well, I finally have the answer . He’s the LOT in my life. I was watching a powerful message from a pastor called Robert Madu and he explained a story about Abraham and Lot from the Bible; the two had gone on a journey together, even when God said “take no family or friends”. Abraham saw Lot as a son in his eyes, when he was really his nephew, so he was a part of a family that Abraham thought he could bring. Though Abraham loved and cared for Lot deeply, they had to go there separate ways. It wasn’t intended for Lot to act as a son to Abraham, because soon God was going to bless him with one.
He then went on to explain goddesses and their difference between the main God. How in our lives we have little gods we worship, like a guy we love and spend most of our time with or anything that becomes an obsession to you. I quickly thought about the relationships that I had put a lot of time into.I quickly thought about my job and realized that I am unhappy at that I spend 4 or 5 days at a week for 7+ hours each time.
I don’t look at myself as a religious person at all, but that story, stuck with me and made me realize something. I am going through the most wrecking time of life, as of yet. Balancing my relationship with God, while trying to work, go to school, be a supportive woman, and devote energy to my man was overwhelming.
I’m feeling the need to regroup, restore and heal. I need to be alone, in silence, to work on myself. Work on focusing on one thing at a time and see space as a healing phase and not look at it as a time that my relationship will go down the drain with the one I love.
It’s time and I’m so scared, but I know this has to be the time. To many things are hitting me at once.
March 1, 2014
I love this. I personally have had a realization of having to detach myself from someone I love and care about very deeply; it’s really easier said than done. Smh, it’s so hard.
March 8, 2014
I’ve been going through a similar spiritual renewal myself and I am also afraid. As long as we remember we are definitely not alone, we will get through it.
March 8, 2014
This resonates with me quite strongly during my current life moments. Great post.
March 16, 2014
I hope you should keep focused and do what you think is right in your heart. I’m in the same situation as you and I know I should of changed things in my life years ago because I haven’t I’ve suffered more. for me it’s Justin I’m scared of the unknown, and that’s happiness. These things are happening to you for a reason.
August 15, 2014
Please don’t be afraid :) none of you. God does not give us a spirit of fear. I don’t know what any of you believe in or where you’ve been in life or even where you are now. But God is always waiting with arms wide open ready to receive those who run to Him. A lot of times we feel anxious about where we are in life because we’re in a place God never intended for us to be. It’s only the enemy making you have so many doubts. Do it. God is waiting and He loves you more than you’ll ever know.