Suis aussi tanné! » If I had a dollar for every time I’d said that this week, I’d be richer than all of Forbes’ list put together. When I find out who put this bad cloud over me, I’m going to give them a really good shaking. 2014 is not my year so far. From the start, 2014 has been a whirlwind of crap. I mean, I literally brought in the New Year in the back of an ambulance, trying to put on a brave face. I then stood outside in the cold, far into the negatives, trying to get a taxi. To top off that week, I fell sick with the flu. Fast-forward to this week, marked by breaking my glasses, my Visa disappearing, and finally my hard drive breaking down and wiping itself clean. I have lost all of my strength. 2014 was to be a year of firsts – starting Japanese courses; going to South Korea, Japan, and possibly even Germany; and publishing my first zine collection of essays. Instead, I’ve started the year off by crying in public. I have no problem with being in public, but showing weakness in public, like throwing up or crying, has usually been beyond me. But there, at the imitation wood that didn’t need to be there because Apple could definitely afford the real thing, I was crying. Staring my computer down, only a few months past it’s AppleCare warranty, had wiped itself clean after a hard drive error. The final straw to break the camel’s back was laid on me in the pretty glass building on Sainte-Catherine’s, all spotless and expensive while I cried. I didn’t cry in the hospital, I didn’t cry while sick, I didn’t cry while my house broke down around me, but at my last bit of rope, losing my documents did it. There is only so much bunkering down one can do. Life is not something you can build a shelter against for when you’re blitzed with a series of unfortunate events. Out of school on holiday, I didn’t keep up all of the new friendships I’d cultivated during my first semester back at college, and I deeply regret that. I’ve always been an only, but in the end that’s probably the reason why I am where I am right now. I haven’t leaned against anyone for support, and a keyboard isn’t always the best method of venting. Sometimes hugs are better. This culture of detachment and self-centeredness is not one that I want to continue to feed into in 2014. For 2014, I will work on my time management. I will drop classes and extra curricular activities. I will take the time to hear others out and help them where I can. Most importantly, I will not over stress myself. I will not bear any trials I may face in the future alone. I will not wait until I am surrounded by a bunch of strangers who have no idea who I am while I cry over my stupid laptop; I will not wait until I am emotionally exhausted to talk everything out. The good people in my life, put their by God or not, will be leaned against. Humans sometimes have special powers that paper and ink doesn’t.

leslie nikole
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