I Have An Std

*Phone rings*.
“Hello?”
“Hello may I speak to Olivia Wilson?”
“This is she, how may I help you?”
“Hi, Olivia this is Dr. So and So from the health department, for safety purposes, do you know your code word?”
“Yes.” I rattle off some phrases.
“Okay, Olivia we got your test results back from your recent check up and you tested positive for Chlamydia. You need to come by and pick up the medicine as soon as possible okay?”
*Chokes on Lucky Charms*
“Uh, um okay, I will, thank you.”
*hangs up*

Lets rewind about a week.

It was summer 2009 and I’d just come off a successful first year of college. My male best friend, now recently turned boyfriend, was due to arrive back in Oklahoma from Texas in a few weeks. We’d been friends for over a year, but never intimate. I’d decided I needed to get tested because while he and I weren’t intimate, I’d had my share of “study breaks” with a certain star football player. Funny thing was, the athlete and I hadn’t been freaky deaky in over three months prior to this decision. Nonetheless, I wanted my first time with the man that waited a year for me to be special and safe so I called Planned Parenthood and asked how much it cost for full STD testing. A representative rattled off something similar to $150. I looked at the phone like I could see her through it and rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth, TUH!! I was working at Dollar General and taking summer classes — there was no way I could afford that, so I racked my brain for other options. Suddenly, I remembered that anything I needed medically as a child, I got at the county health department…so I ventured there to determine my fate.

I was with my sister, driving my mom’s car to my Gram’s house when I decided to stop at the clinic to see how much the testing would cost. I didn’t have my own car and wouldn’t get the chance to do this on my own again for a while so I took full advantage. My sister was about 15 at the time and at first I didn’t want her to know I was sexually active so I lied about what I needed and made her wait in the car. I went in and the lady told me the testing would be $10. I damn near jigged out the lobby. I went and got my sister out of the car and had her come with me inside.

Oklahoma summers get hot and I didn’t want to let her fry, so I had to explain what I was doing and why. I figured she probably knew I was sexually active although I’d never admitted it. As we sat in the lobby of the clinic, and I was filling out paperwork, I explained to her why I was getting tested and the importance of safe sex, should she decide to partake in sexual activity.

After I filled out my paperwork and paid my $10 I sat and waited for my name to be called. I observed my surroundings. Typical waiting room decor, cold hard chairs, magazines, some news station on a small TV perched in a corner, and people.
There was a couple there getting tested together and a group of what seemed to be high school kids, laughing and cracking jokes, pretending like they weren’t there for what there were there for.

“Olivia?”

It was my turn, the nurse was pleasant looking and surprisingly I wasn’t very nervous. I mean what did I have to be nervous about? I was fine.
“Oooh damn she sexy. I hope she ain’t got nothing” I heard one of the high school boys say when I was walking to the back with the nurse. I chuckled while thinking “I am pretty hot huh? and I KNOW I don’t have anything, this is just to be doubly sure.”
With all the confidence in the world, I went back into the room so that the nurse could do what she needed to do and I could get out of there….

I was totally shocked at the call that I received that morning. Positive for Chlamydia? I had no signs. No symptoms, and had been dick-free for nearly threemonths. This couldn’t be real. It was about 8 a.m. when I got the call and I couldn’t even stomach my cereal. I had to find a way to get to the clinic to get the medicine and back before my mom had to go to work. How was I going to pull this off? I had to lie.
“Mom, I need your keys, I have to get something from the store for school.”
Inaudible mumbles.
“Be back before I go to work.”
“Okay I will.”
I couldn’t believe that worked.

I hopped in the car. No radio. Just my thoughts. Every sex ed class I’d taken and slide show of STDs I’d ever seen flashed through my head. None of it prepared me. My vagina was supposed to be smelly and leaking and ripe with oozy lesions. A La Blue Waffle. None of the above had occurred. I knew she looked and smelled fine, I check my nether regions regularly so I know the difference between normal and abnormal.

I got to the clinic to pick up my meds and prepared for the judgmental looks I was sure the nurse had for me, I mean after all, I had The Clap, I was a dirty girl. I felt like a whore. I felt unworthy of love. I felt ashamed. I felt like the stereotype of someone with an STD incarnate. After all, I was too fine to be dirty.

Surprisingly the nurse, same as before, had her regular pleasant demeanor. She handed me the pills. Told me that it’d affect the effectiveness of my birth control and that I had to refrain from dairy until the weeks supply of pills was gone. I agreed to the terms and even lied and said I’d make the phone call to the man I suspected had given me the disease. I wasn’t going to call him.
I had a more important call to make. With his arrival date set for about one week from that day, I had to call my boyfriend.
“Hello?”
“Hi baby.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I have an STD but they gave me medicine and I should be okay by the time you get here I’m sorry please don’t hate me I love you.”
I’ve never been one for being able to break bad news with tact.
“For reeeeaaaaalllll?”
“Yes.”
“Well, at least we know. Just take your meds. It’ll be okay. We can get through this.”
“You mean it?”
“Yes. It happens I’m glad you got checked and are getting this taken care of, I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later”
“Okay babe I love you.”
“I love you too.”
That phone call went better than expected, maybe it wasn’t so bad, or maybe that man just loved me too much?

I snuck around for the next week and taking all my meds as prescribed without anyone in my house finding out. I also spent the week cursing the booty call that almost ended my relationship before it even began.

I should’ve made the phone call to him and told him. Looking back, that would’ve been the unselfish, responsible thing to do, but I didn’t. I was newly STD free, I still had my man, and I was fine.

Liv

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