I was rushing home one day and while at a red light, I saw an elderly woman walking across the street with a little girl who seemed like she must’ve been with her granddaughter. They were walking arm and arm and the little girl and the elderly woman smiled affectionately at each other as they chatted each other up. Their encounter made me smile and all my beloved memories that I shared with my late grandmother came flooding back.

My grandmother was the quintessential grandma. Pretty much everything that you would imagine a grandma to be, she was it. She helped my mother raise me as my mom and dad decided not to co-parent. As a little girl, I visited her every Friday. She would always fry fish and make homemade cornbread. We’d all sit down together for dinner and then my mom would leave and I would spend the weekend at grandma’s. It was so much fun. I drove her crazy most times, but she was so sweet. We’d turn on music and dance to my favorite songs. I’d even try to show her how to do some of my favorite moves and would crack up when her little 5 foot frame would try to imitate me. She had rhythm and a mean two step, but not much coordination. When we finished entertaining each other, she’d give me ice cream before bed and let me stay up past my bedtime. I’d climb in bed with grandma and we’d watch music videos together. Back then Babyface and Janet Jackson were the faces of R&B, so there wasn’t too much concern about anything being too raunchy.

In the morning, my favorite waffles and a small glass of orange juice was on the table ready for me. When we were done nibbling and chatting, we’d play games, watch tv or go out with my mom for the day. If I saw something I wanted in the store and my mom said I couldn’t have it, grandma always said, “just put it in my cart Boots” (she nicknamed me “Boots” and I loved it).

As I grew into a young woman, my grandma was there for every milestone. She showed up with my mom to all my concerts and plays. When she thought I was getting too skinny, she’d throw an extra chicken wing on my plate and when she thought I was picking up too much weight, she took it back. LOL! She met every major boyfriend and whispered in my ear how wrong they were for me. She traveled with my mother on road trips to bring me and pick me up from college. She saw me graduate and she was there for my wedding. She instructed me to always be kind and loving to my husband. She said, “He’s a good man, Boots. You won’t find another like him.”

She knew what she was speaking of as she never remarried after my granddaddy passed away when my mother was a child. She said he was her true love and no one could ever replace him. Heavy.

Her heart broke when my husband and I decided that he would leave the country for 16 months to start medical school in Dominica, West Indies. She asked, “Are you going to be ok?” “I think so grandma.” She had no response, only a hug that let me know that she understood and would be there for me.

Shortly after my husband left the country, I found out I was seven weeks pregnant with our first child. Eager to be together to share this experience with each other, I decided to spend some time out of the country with my husband. I returned several months before the baby was due to get everything in order for his arrival. Little did I know how monumental that decision would turn out to be.

When I returned home, my grandma was scheduled for a procedure that would remove blood clots in her leg. The day of the surgery she was sent home to return in a day or so. I decided to spend the night with her because I hadn’t seen her for awhile and wanted to catch up and laugh like we always did when we were together. As always, we had a ball. But unfortunately, it would be the last laugh that I shared with her.

A few days later, my mother and I returned to her house with some items from the store that she had requested the night before. We both were flushed when we saw her newspaper outside of her door. She was an early bird and always got her paper first thing in the morning. We rang the bell, but she didn’t answer. Oh God! What’s wrong with grandma? When my mother unlocked the door, the chain was still on it. My mom called for her, but no answer. After several attempts to get the chain off the door, we found her alive, but unable to talk or move. It was clear that she had a stroke. We called 911.

It wasn’t long after her arrival to the hospital that they told my mom that she wouldn’t make it. In addition to the stroke she had experienced two heart attacks. My cousins and I were totally confused because while we expected that maybe she wouldn’t be able to walk or talk, we never anticipated that she wouldn’t make it out of there.

So we requested to speak to the ER doctors and they confirmed the worst: her recovery was up to her, but if she survived, she would never be 100%. When he said that, my grandma and I exchanged glances. In her eyes I saw her say “no way” and I broke down and cried.

That was how I spent the next (three) days.I was unable to visit her for too long because I was so devastated that I had lost her. My family tried to reassure me that she would pull through because she was a fighter.But I remembered the look she gave me and I knew that this was not a fight she wanted. She was 93 and fiercely independent. She refused to to live with anyone and aside from issues with her leg, she was spry and in her right mind. As a result, there was no way she’d every be okay with not being able to walk or bathe herself on her own. She didn’t want that, and so I cried and said goodbye to one of the most beautiful women that I had ever known.

Because I was seven months pregnant, I couldn’t stay at the hospital for the entire three days. But it was the day I left that my mom called and said that I needed to come back. Her heart rate was decreasing and she was dying.

I rushed back to the hospital but by the time I got there, I was too late. She had already died. The nurses said that I should hug and kiss her while her body was still warm. So I did. I cuddled under her and kissed her cheek. But it was time to say goodbye and so we left her.

It’s been six years since she passed, and I still miss her deeply. But I feel so grateful to have shared so much of my life with her. She was strong, witty and sweet. She was so funny and kept me and my mom and I cracking up! She taught me how to be graceful, thoughtful and forgiving. She was just so, so loving, just an absolute treasure to my world. Throughout the years, she became more than just my grandma. She was also my friend, my buddy. She was everything I could have ever wanted her to be; and although she’s gone, I’m comforted in knowing that I’ll see her again. In the meantime, I’ll keep smiling as I watch other little girls with their grandmothers. They’ve been blessed with one of God’s most treasured gifts and if they’re as lucky as I was, they’ll have memories that will bless their heart for years to come.

Latasha