Thick as thieves as children, barely knowing one another as teens, with brief conversations every so often as adults.
Yet, somehow I find myself yearning for some sort of relationship with him. The ‘him” that I barely know and would not typically go for based on the little that I do. Could it be that I just want to try my hand at “dating” with him. I’m good for dealing with my homeboys because I rather go for what I know then some “random”, even if it kills the friendship unfortunately. That’s one bad habit of mine that I need to break. But I know that will never happen and we’d drive one another nuts.
Two assholes should never be together. Crazy how some people just know one day he and I are going to get married, my little brother included. HA! We all know that will not be happening. I’m not here for that marriage thing. Though, I do find a little humor in describing you when someone asks me what I would like in a guy if I had to choose some key traits. How is that even possible when I barely know you these days?
Hmm, or maybe I’m actually yearning for that friendship with him again. The one we had as children, minus the fighting, arguing, and annoyance. We’re friends in a sense, but we’re not the best of friends. I sometimes find myself with a grand kool-aid smile, a motion that’s rarely displayed, when I get to proudly proclaim, “We’ve known one another for (# of years),” or “We’ve been “friends” since we were kids.” I miss having that one good male friend, who shared my interests and was always down for a good time filled with laughter. We have tried a few times to pick up where we left off only to be consumed by boredom and silence. Clearly, some things just aren’t meant to be.
I have to accept the fact that we may not relive those moments in this lifetime. But who truly knows what life has in store for our interpersonal relationship. I’m not going to hope and let that stuff consume me. You know, because hope can drive a man insane.
