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I have witnessed true love and I have lost it. I have traveled 2000 miles for love. I have put in my blood, sweat, and tears for love. I left my comfort zone in Atlanta to create a relationship that I had always dreamed of.

For the first time in my twenty-something life I made a decision that would define my personal definition of love. I followed my heart to Los Angeles. And in my journey to find love I found myself. I fell in love unexpectedly with a man who I knew existed but never really connected with. Although we both attended Clark Atlanta and I was best friends with his line brother we never really paid much attention to each other. That was until five years had passed and fate decided it was time for us to finally “meet”.

From the time we began connecting one thing was clear: he was so beautiful to me. I never saw his charm or his manhood coming and all I could thing was, “Now I can see why God made me wait five years to finally get to know him.” He was honest and enjoyable and before I knew it I fell in love with who he was slowly becoming- someone I could admire and greatly respect. He was a young man building his career and I was inspired by him. He made me want more. Shit! I wanted more. He was breathtaking.

As the bond grew, life started to change for him. He received a promotion that was needed for his career. I was excited like they had hired me but with the promotion came his time to leave Atlanta and return to his home state of California. With my excitement of his promotion I started to worry. The man I wanted was now leaving and what was I suppose to do? Was I suppose to move on now that he was leaving and be appreciative for the love we once had? Or was I suppose to run after him and go to LA ? I wanted to build a future with him.

So, I did the unthinkable and I moved to LA for the entire summer just to be with him. But things didn’t turn out like I had imagined.

We would argue about me not focusing on my own career and about me being so focused on love. But love was what gave me the motivation to leave my comfort zone for him – for us.

Now, 80 days of cohabiting with a man can be difficult. It will change who you are. And if you are not safe, it can even rearrange who you are. 80 days is enough time to lose yourself, find yourself, and change yourself. 80 days is enough time for a person to go crazy. And I almost at one point lost my damn mind. Our constant arguments caused me to start getting paranoid over the most simplest things. I started going through his phone as a result of my insecurities and I questioned my own beauty to the point of sinking and losing me.

As the days went on and my time in LA began to come to an end, I realized that no commitment had come. He wasn’t going to make me his woman and I was so confused. I had traveled 2000 miles just for love. I had put myself out there for him. Yet when he took me to the airport on Day 80, he broke my heart by saying “we’ll figure it out”, when I asked him what we were going to do.

I didn’t understand it and I returned to Atlanta lost, in love, and defeated. But little did he know, he helped me welcome my womanhood. Did I walk away with the man I went to LA for? Oh, how I wish I did. For the first time in my life my body and mind were changing. I wanted to give this man myself in its entirely. His ways had unintentionally compelled me. I had given him the love I knew was true. It was sweet. It was his. And I was ready to be his woman.

It’s  sad to say, but at the end of the day, I still pray to God that maybe he will one day see what I was trying to give. It took me five years to finally “know” him, a few months to fall in love with him, and 80 days of giving my all. I didn’t half-ass my commitment to him, I was within him and without. But those three months in LA didn’t go in vain. For it showed me that you can fight for love but only with someone who is willing to fight back.

Adia