Hey ladies! Ok so shortly after I gave up on dating, an old friend popped back up in my life. We had a homegirl breakup earlier in the year, and I’m happy to say we were both mature enough to realize our friendship was more important than any other nonsense. We’re both geminis so it’s easy to forget what makes upset in the first place.

So over a veggie session, we sat down and caught up. In the midst of stuffing spinach in my mouth I recieved a text from a guy I once dated, who was also mutual friend. I mentioned it to her, but didn’t really read to much into it.

The next day she texts that she needs to tell me something about our little friend. Long story short, after a 30 minute puzzle piecing phone call, I find out the guy I was dating, was also dating my friend during the time we weren’t speaking. He even had the nerve to try to get re-acquainted with both of us by asking were we dating (in the same week).

Once we let him know all was revealed, he didn’t even have the heart to respond to my friend. I received an email (not a phone call – weak to the max) with a long drawn out explanation about how he felt guilty, and that was the cause of his strange behavior. He shared a connection with my friend because of frequent D.C. commutes but that was it. He made sure to mention, that he had a “weakness” for beautiful women, and that he understood if we both hated him. What a douche! I just let him know he was shady, and thought little of his character.

Anyway, I wasn’t too upset considering I cut this guy off for being wishy washy. Now I know the real reason behind his weak “I’m in a weird place” talk we had before I told him I was over it.

What really bothered me about the situation is that this was one of the “nice” guys. Always showering me with attention, treating me out, playing up to my interests. So sweet, or so I thought. Which brings me to my next point, or opinion I should say. In some situations, or should I say many, you’re better off with the jerk, or at least that jerk that you’re willing to deal with, because at least he’s honest. The jerk may drive you up a wall of confusion, but when it’s great it’s great, and when it’s not he’s usually upfront enough to let you know what’s going on. It may be frustrating, but at the end of the day you know what you’re getting yourself into with the not so easy to please guy.

Ladies, we catch a lot of flack for overlooking the nice guys, right? But maybe part of the reason we’re quick to pass them by is because our intuition is telling us, “No way he’s that nice, it’s too good to be true.” And it is. That nice guy will tell you anything you want to hear, anything to get closer to you, or your friend for that matter. It’s a facade that I can do without.

The asshole may not be as romantic, but he’s upfront, and at least smart enough to know when he’s caught red handed.The jerk usually isn’t interested in dating you if he’s not available. He has jerk guy things to do and being sloppy isn’t one of them.

So in short, all that glitters may not be gold, but the nice guy isn’t neccessarily the whole package either.

Image Source: “Stop Look”, ELLE UK, December 1989 // Photographer : Tiziano Magni // Model : Nadege du Bospertus

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Laik
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